In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

 

Yesterday, as I was putting gas I noticed something as I never noticed before. As  I finished putting gas, I topped off and then immediately freaked cause the instructions say to clearly not do that. So I jumped in my car and started touching anything I could find. I touched the leather seat and steering wheel. I touched my sweater, my purse, the roof of the car. I sat there and wondered, did I get rid of all the  electro waves received from putting gas. Hopefully I had. I touched nearly everything in the car. Then it dawned on me. I am a media freak. Since the news about people blowing up after putting gas in their car, I have been so paranoid. I am sick sick sick. Obviously, you don’t smoke while putting gas. But can you really blow up by just touching the ignition after putting gas? I don’t know. I guess until there is actually scientific proof I will continue my 10 minute impulsiveness of touching everything in the car and hoping that my car won’t blow up as I start it.

What I subconsciously worry about when I put gas!

Then I started thinking, “Hey I might be Media’s bitch.” Then the light bulb clicks! I am, I am media’s bitch. God why? How did it get this way?? I started to look around. My car radio was on. My phone was blowing up with news alerts and more twitter reports. When I got home, the TV was turned on and then I jumped on my computer. It was a smear the Marina day. Media was every where, and it was making me its woman as if we in a prison shower! (“I swear, sniff sniff, I didn’t drop the soap. Sniff Sniff Sobs!)

I started panicking. My chest hurt.

Then the tv asked, “Are you having a panic attack?”

I said, “Yes,”. The TV was talking to me! 

“You need Zoloft!” I do?

“Yes you do! It will stop your extreme worrying , panic and wondering if the media is controlling you.”  I do need Zoloft!  “Yes you do.”

So I have an appointment with my doctor to ask for Zoloft. Hey the TV said so.

I kept thinking though. There is a reason I refuse sweet-in-low and other artificial sugars. I don’t want cancer! News everywhere said artificial sugars cause cancer.

Run! It's Artificial Sugars!!!

I realized that I have been this way my entire life. If an ad said, don’t use this shampoo because after 300 trillion uses, you could get cancer. I said fine.

If the commercial said I needed this type of jeans because then I would finally get accepted by my peers and not spend another homecoming dance dripping in pig’s blood. I was sold!

Carrie was totally not cool! Her purse was a fake coach!

I realized the error of my ways. It was time for a change. I no longer will let media, commercialism, or anything else make choices for me. I am making the choices now. I am taking a stand!

“Um, mommy can you by me a Pillow Pet?  The TV said only the best mommies get Pillow Pets for their kids. Please?!?!”

Before even answering, I knew I would the media’s bitch forever.

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Comments on: "I ain’t your bitch, oh wait yeah I am" (8)

  1. I think Im a hypochondriac. If you stare at two dogs humpin you’ll get a stye. Or . . . . my head hurts – I MUST have a tumor!!! I know it I just know it. And most important – do NOT do NOT swallow a watermellon seed cuz everyone knows what will happen! 🙂 Lol

    • marinasleeps said:

      This is all valuable information. I need to quit the habit of the dog starring cause styes suck. And kudos for knowing how to spell styes. I never would have know.

  2. You make me laugh dude. You wont blow up if you top off your car. You can, however, set fire thru a static electric spark when you touch the gas pump handle. So dont touch go back in your car while youre filling up. If you do, make sure you touch something metal BEFORE you touch the metal pump handle. If you have any further questions, you know where to reach me.

    • marinasleeps said:

      Well I am glad I make you laugh.
      You see how inofrmation is screwed up! it’s screwed up I tell you!!!

  3. Lol those pillow pets are adorable Lol Ummm….what exactly is topping off….I thought it was a sexual statement lol sorry???

  4. Very very good job !!! I like it.

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