Yesterday while I was leaving Wal-Mart and walking to my car, I noticed the car in front of me . And I thought it would be so awesome to be rich. No not just a million rich … like billions. Filthy, stinkin, dirty rich. Like the kind where you are wiping your tush with cash. That kind!
Well, like I was saying, I noticed this small SUV parked in front of me and I thought, ‘If I was rich (again, filthy stinkin rich) I would crash into that car in front of me. That’s how I would get out of this parking lot. Crashing into that car and move it out-of-the-way. And it would be no big deal because I would be dirty ass rich. I could by myself a new car and the person I just crashed into.
That might sound weird but I do have a fantasy of just crashing into a car. Obviously, with no one in it! What kind of person do you think I am?
I think about it especially when I am at the grocery store or coming into the office. I think, what if I could just hit this car. Maybe I should invest my energies into demolition derby or monster trucks. I obviously have some hidden rage that comes out when I am behind the wheel.
Today, for my birthday, my co-workers and I are going to this Mediterranean place to eat. And though I am a lover of food, my diet consists of fried chicken, tacos, McDonald’s, and well Chinese food. I am willingly to try anything new. However, there is nothing on the internet about this place. Nothing. No menu or anything. So hopefully I don’t get tricked in eating monkey brains or the heart of a camel. And I am going to try to contain myself. I have always wanted to yell the word infidel somewhere. This might be my chance. And it’s my birthday I should get that! But because I am going with employees maybe I should postpone this one for another day. For the record, I am not racist or prejudice. There are just some things I wanna do before I die. Like yell Infidel in a mediterranean restaurant. Or crash into a car for no reason. I do have reasons to keep living. These are it.
Everyone keeps asking me what I am doing for my birthday. And the answer is nothing. Gus works nights for right now. I work days. So I am just go home, make dinner, do homework with Savannah, fold clothes, and sit with the kids as they tell me all the stuff they wanna buy me for my birthday. (A Blue’s Clues backpack, a Ho Ho brush, a Ni Hao Ki lan necklace)