In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Things Never To Do At Work

  1. Never use the bathroom with a shawl, especially when it’s not yours and it belongs to a coworker/mother-in-law/ friend.
  2. Don’t spill hot coffee on your desk and paperwork. Do spill cold coffee. Your not gonna drink it anyways.
  3. Never take the last cup of coffee especially from a smoker.They are like human zombies and will eat your face.
  4. Never say to your manager, “I like your style,” and then shoot him with your double barreled fingers.
  5. When applying for a promotion, never include a letter of recommendation from your mother. This will say far more than you want it to say. 
  6. Don’t ever yell out “As God as my witness, I will never go hungry again!” during a office potluck.
  7. Never address the VP as Lord Vader.
  8. Do not use a banana or any other vegetable as a pointer in your presentation.
  9. Do not tell your boss that lady in his picture is smoking hot. She is in fact his 16 year old daughter. Now Duck!
  10. Never photocopy your bum on the copier. Even if no one sees you, your imprint of your greasy butt will be left as evidence. You will not hold up in a bum line up.
  11. Do not pull the skin of your elbow and scream, ” My weinus is SO BIG!”
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Comments on: "Things Never To Do At Work" (13)

  1. This is definitely true, and also watch out for people who know aren’t morning people. Don’t attempt to make a conversation with them when they give you that look that they’re not awake.

    Definitely don’t take the last coffee from the smoker, they will kill you slowly but surely, I agree!

  2. finally, something I can read completely thru. My ADD can only be thwarted with insightful blog posts. well done.

  3. I’d love to know where you’ve worked before!

    • marinasleeps said:

      Well I have work technology company now. Previously I have worked for a real estate office and Holywood Video …
      all of these things are true accounts of stuff I have learned at work … the dipping the shawl in the bathroom happened yesterday!

  4. I really hope the shall was yours but by the especially if it’s not yours comment I doubt it was…..dry cleaning anyone???

    • marinasleeps said:

      No it wasn’t. Otherwise, I would not have cared. Actually I didnt care either way.

  5. Awesome. Love it. Classic…. Except for the Lord Vader thing, I have a bunch of direct reports and they should start calling me that, cuz it is new and fun and will make the day less boring (not that it is now, of course).

  6. Rules to live by, for sure.

  7. I like #6…very dramatic!

    • marinasleeps said:

      Drama is good for work sometimes. Otherwise I would have killed myself of boredom many years ago and you would be talking to my ghost.

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