Since I have become a celebrity in my own little world and recently have made some unnecessary celebrity essential purchases that have hurt the pocket-book and are not refundable (ie:french poodle, a Chanel dog purse, many diamond necklaces and other bling, Ferrari 360, a new nose, ass, lips, and breasts etc etc etc!), I figured what the heck, I should let the public know a little bit about me. Let them have a more personal touch. Kinda like the “Cribs” of Marina’s life.
That is how it works for me. For some ladies, it’s like seeing a hot muscular guy with long hair. They go crazy. For me, it’s a huge truck (Chevy made!!) with big tires. That drives me crazy. I get Sprung! It’s my only weakness. Well, that and beef ribs. My mouth is watering as me speak.
Next, life is very unexpected and full of unforeseen occurrences. So in case, the world was to suffer the loss of me do to a horrific car accident or because I was heroically saving a kitty from a tree, I have already the play list of music to play at the funeral. Are you ready? These should be complied in an Ultimate Greatest Funeral Hits by Lifetime.
- Tuesday’s Gone by Lynard Skynard. Cause I want you to feel that when I pass away … my ashes are in the wind. Plus the melody is especially sad for more crying your heart out! Yeah baby. Give it to me hard!
- California Dreams by the Mamas and the Papas. I love this song but I am also so confused by this song. What the hell does it mean? And I figure around this time of the CD people will be confused asking why I was taken so young, why her? Yeah confusion and shock, my kind of party. Like that one time, we all drank lemonade but it really wasn’t lemonade but actual lemons in water. I hope that’s in the Eulogy. Good times.
- Stayin Alive by the BeeGees cause why couldn’t she just stay freakin alive?!?!
- Suspicious Minds by Elvis Because this will be the part that people are going through the denial emotion. And they just won’t believe it. She died choking on a buffalo wing bone! I just can’t believe it. You are not even supposed to eat that part. She should have known that!
- Electric Funeral by Pantera because about this time people should be getting upset! I mean really upset. Why aren’t there laws against eating buffalo wings?!? Why hasn’t the mayor done anything about this? Ban all bone-in chicken!!! And then riot riot … burn stores and what not.
And finally there will come a time for acceptance and somewhat peace in the fact that I ate something that I love so much. The Buffalo Wing.
- Same Old Dance and Song by Aerosmith
- Any Fun by Coconut Records will just be those who generally didn’t know me but still talked shit cause they weren’t in the will. Figures. There is always haters!
- Stupid Girl by Cold is for those who knew me best. WTF Marina eating a bone! Stupid chick! You with your dumb look on your face. “I can eat this bone,” and bam, she falls to the floor!
And then the final song, cause after all lets celebrate my life. Life should be celebrated!
- In Da Club by 50 cent. Go shorty. It’s my funeral. We are gonna party cause it’s my funeral. And we don’t a f&%# cause it’s my funeral.
In case I do die, someone please let my husband know that I was serious about this list. It is in computer writing for legitimacy purposes. Now back to the Da Club …. “You can find me in the club … I am into having sex I aint into making love … so come give me hug … that’s right!”