In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

I may be womanly disabled because there are a lot of things that confuse me about our gender/species. I guess you can say I am your 25 year old plain Jane mom who only recently  learned how to apply eye makeup. Yes.  Before I was comparing eye make up to physics. But after accomplishing that I started to wonder, is there other things about being a woman that I am missing? Are there things that women should just know? If you can answer any of my questions, please, PLEASE,  help me.

  1. What is mousse (is that even spelled right) suppose to do for your hair?

The reason I asked is because I hear of all these women using different sprays and leave-on conditioners (things I know nothing of) and all I use is shampoo and conditioner in one.  Pretty lazy, I know. Maybe that’s why I have bad hair days. So I bought a mousse and it makes my hair feel like I haven’t washed it in days. I am totally confused by that. Isn’t it suppose to make my hair better? Seriously, my hair feels dirty and as if I forgot to wash my shampoo out properly. Again!

2. What is the deal with foundation?

Do I use it or not? What about powder? I started using powder cause I am one greasy latina. But now I am breaking out like Doogie Houser. What gives? Am I putting to much on? Why is make-up so freakin’ complicated? There should be kit of make up designed for each baby girl born that the hospital gives to you. “This is what your daughter will need. The kit comes with a how-to-apply CD and step by step instructions. If needed, we can send a make-up stylist to her to show and assist her with her future make-up selections.” That would truly make the world a better place!

3.  What does a bikini wax entail?

In fact, to even utter the words scares me. So there is no way I would even attempt to call a place and ask if they do bikini waxes and what do they entail. There are different type of waxes I hear.  How do I know what is what? We are talking about sensitive bits here. Very sensitive. I wanna know what celebrities use.  These are things that again should be put in a guidebook in the baby bag thats given to you by the doctor. For Future References!

4. Facial hair?

How can I avoid looking like this? Not to say that I am on the verge, but I do have like light peach fuzz on my face. You can’t see it but geez, what are the celebrities doing that I am not? What is their  daily regime? I have never heard of facial waxing? Does that exist? Doesn’t that make your face all puffy afterwards? I want to be picture perfect and not look like … well her. <——–

5. Hair on toes and fingers?

I have just been shaving that off. Its like a few hairs. I need to stress that so the people out there don’t think I am a monster. I can hear them now saying, “Poor woman, ” and shake their heads. I hope I am totally making you feel good about yourself. However these are real issues with me.

6. Last but not least, How do you determine eye shadow colors for the day?

I heard your not suppose to be matching with your clothes.  I do. So am I freak or what? It just does not seem to make sense to wear blue with like yellow. Help me please!

I obviously am a little lost. There are more questions but I don’t want to seem like I have no idea what I am doing as a woman. Please share whatever guidelines or inform me about something else.


Comments on: "What I Haven’t Worked Out About Being a Woman" (258)

  1. Sorry, I can’t help you with any of these — I am also illiterate in many of the womanly secrets. But, hey, what can go wrong with sensitive bits and a pair of sharp scissors? Let me know how that works out for you…

  2. Brilliant post, I have all the same worries! I am a bit of a girly girl though and couldn’t live without my make up and assorted serums and sprays for my hair but here is my advice…
    1. Mousse- This one confuses me. I have naturally curly hair but if I leave it natural it borders on the frizzy side. I get a Frizz Ease mousse that I put a (tiny) blob on when wet and let my hair dry naturally and it somehow kills the frizz. It’s like a science though, one tiny bit too much and its gross city for your hair!

    2. Foundation- my skin tends to get a bit shiny throughout the day, made worse if I have a cream foundation on. Therefore I get a powder one, keep it in my bag and just apply a little to my t zone when it starts sparkling. I’ve tried lots of different ones and some do make me spotty and sometimes shinier so I’d suggest a natural based one. Not sure where in the world you are but if you have Body Shop I’d go with them!

    3. Bikini Waxes- I am totally the same as you! I live in the Mediterranean now so wear bikinis a lot and it means I have to shave every other day which really just makes it a bit sore. I desperately want a wax as it’s meant to last longer but I worry- do you have to take your knickers off? Not sure I could handle that! What do I ask for? There are 100 different ‘styles’ and some differ- I’ve heard a Brazilian is a landing strip type shape but also totally bald… I do not want to make mistakes like that! My advice to you would be just bite the bullet, call a salon and ask.. but I would never have the guts to call myself!

    4. Fingers and toes- I am by no means a monster either. I even have really fair hair (which is why I have missed out facial as I have no experience of this sorry!) but I get the odd hair on my toe so I just shave it off… I would never admit this to my boyfriend as it does sounds horrific but it’s just one of those facts of life no one tells you growing up! Loads of my friends do it too so you are not alone!

    5. Eye shadow- never understood the stuff. My eyes are a bit crap, they’re generally a grey colour but depending on the light can look bluer or greener so NO colour eye shadow ever suits. I just look like a clown whatever colour I choose so I personally just stick with a flick of eye liner, mascara and powder on my shiny face!

    • marinasleeps said:

      Thank you! But I am def still chicken to call a salon. Maybe there are do it your selfers. Hey, I watched Khole & Koutney do Miami!

  3. Nice post

  4. LOL Just be comfortable in your own skin and do what makes you feel good about being you!

  5. Ha ha! I’ll see if I can help. 1) mousse is meant to make your hair appear thicker by giving it volume. Your hair should still be damp when you out it in and you should use an amount equal to the size of an egg. Make sure you rub it in evenly, focusing on the roots so that it doesn’t get stringy. 2) being Latina you probably don’t need foundation, you lucky woman. If you have uneven skin tone or the like, you may want to try it though. After carefully picking the appropriate shade (test it on the inside of your wrist in the store) use a quarter sized drop and start by blending on your T zone (nose, forehead) then around your eyes. Spread the rest to cover the remainder of your face, being careful not to leave a line around your ears and chin. If you’re going to use powder, put it on after the foundation. NEVER ever try to put foundation over the powder. It will look gross. 3) You’re on your own with the bikini wax. It scares me too. 4) We all have peach fuzz. No one sees it but us. Celebs have it too – you just can’t see it because their pictures are airbrushed. If you do start getting chin hairs though (lots of women do) you can go to a salon and get it waxed for about $15. It takes 2 minutes and lasts about 3 months. 5) Stop doing that! You’re going to make them come back thicker. Leave it be. 6) You should go with an eye shadow color that’s neutral until you get the hang of it. I recommend going to a beauty counter in your local department store and asking for a make up session. It’s free but they do hope you’ll buy something at the end. They can help you choose some colors and show you how to put it on. Hope this helps!

  6. This is quite reveling as it is refresh. A woman’s loud tot i call it. God stuff dear.

  7. What I haven’t worked out is why women will wear whatever outrageous fashion item is new and trendy regardless of the way it makes them look. Not all all styles look good on all bodies, yet like lemmings, they follow the crowd.

  8. Okay, if you are Latina mouse is not for you. It is for women with fine and/or thin hair and it is supposed to ad body and volume to the hair if applied correctly. It sounds like you used WAY too much.

    Second, on the facial hair thing, yes, you can wax. But it will make you red and puffy for a few hours. So, you don’t want to do it right before say a photo op. I struggle with hair removal myself — I’m German, not Latina, but hair in places that our culture doesn’t want women to have hair is still part of my ethnic curse (

    Good luck figuring this stuff out. You seem pretty smart, I think you can do it. You might just need to get a gay boyfriend for help with the hair removal questions — and maybe befriend a Mary Kay lady for help with the makeup bits. Although she will probably tell you you need all the make up in her bag.


    • marinasleeps said:

      A gay boyfriend … that will boost my self esteem. LOL. Thanks

      • A gay boyfriend isn’t a gay man that you date — why do people in other parts of the world not know this term? You call your female friends girlfriends — right? It’s like that, but with a gay man. Good luck!


      • marinasleeps said:

        Wait I did know that. I meant … I can’t have a man (gay or not) giving me womanly instruction. My self esteem is hanging by a thread as it is!

  9. 1. Mousse is like gel, wax and hair spray. It makes your hair stay fixed in a certain shape. It’s not supposed to make your hair healthier or cleaner.

    2. Try different foundations until you find one that’s compatible with your skin. The purpose of foundations is to make your skin look more even.


    4. Wax. Shaving makes the hair thicker and darker and more visible.

    5. Wax.

    6. Don’t know because I’m a guy/I don’t care for fashion/I think beauty is subjective.

    • Why would you have low self esteem, when you have a self described life that is the very best, with beautiful children and a loving marriage If that is not the most transcendant confirmation that fate, or God, or good fortune has cemented your value in the universe than I am baffled. You are Loved more than Life iteself by those children and their Father, who cannot even ever imagine a world without you. Keep focused on the Love that surrounds you.

  10. Well, that’s a lot of questions, a lot of which I don’t know the answer of which myself. Being a woman is a damned bit of work, and unless your mother or older sister (if you have one) is very interested in teaching you these kind of things you’re bound on a lonely journey to learn then on your own. As for me I’m still learning too.

  11. I was in your place just six months ago, and my new mother-in-law sized me up, dragged me off, and turned me into woman. Here are the answers to your questions:

    1. Mousse: Holds your style in place. I like hair spray better.
    2. Foundation is your friend. It hides pimples, red marks, and scars very nicely. I use wet n wild “untuitive blend” because it matches itself to your skin. No spending the rest of your life buying cosmetics trying to find The One that matches your skin tone exactly.

    Also, neutrogena makes one treated with acne medication especially for people who break out easily (I used that a long time, before I discovered Noxema makes my pimples go away.)

    For oily skin, I vaguely recall my MIW trying to show me a bottle of something at Macy’s that stops oil production on the face. Can’t remember what it’s called.

    3. It entails having your pubic hair ripped out by its roots. A full brazillian involves folding yourself up like a kid getting its diaper changed and having allllll your hair taken off. Bikini wax just takes off what would be visible if you were wearing a bikini.

    Read this helpful article here for more details:

    4. I think most women have a little bit of fuzz. I wax it all off.

    5. I think it’s normal to have hair on your knuckles? I don’t shave mine. It doesn’t bother me.

    6. What you’re supposed to do is a bit less important than what looks good. Stand back and look at yourself with makeup on and clothing too. Tilt your chin up a bit so you can still look with your eyelids lowered, and check yourself out. If you look like a clown with blue pants, blue shirt, blue eyeshadow…maybe switch to a shade of brown or green or something.

    I hope this helps. ^^

  12. I know what you mean. I never wear makeup unless it’s for a special occasion, I hate shopping, I only have 5 pairs of shoes, I can cook but I hate doing so…

    Mousse…well I only ever used to use it when I had a lovely 80’s perm that meant I could have that ‘wet’ look all day long if I so chose, but yes, now the mere thought of it makes my head itch and has me running for the shampoo!

    Foundation is to be worn under powder I believe. The powder ‘sets’ the foundation so it doesn’t slide off your face.

    Hair…as long as you have it in the places you’re happy having it and remove the rest by whatever means you chose, what the hell! I believe you can now buy over the counter wax for just about any part of your body. (This needs more research).

    I believe you wear whatever colour eyeshadow you choose, even if it doesn’t match what you’re wearing. I had this problem as well and was told, kindly, that no, it doesn’t matter either way.

    I guess as long as you’re happy, it doesn’t matter! Good blog!


  13. You’re not supposed to have your eyeshadow match your clothes? 😯 Oh, crap …

    I think I can answer your mousse question. I use it to force my hair to maintain some semblance of waviness. I think it feels like my hair is coated in hairspray, myself — but you might have used more or less than I usually do. 🙂

    Other than that, though, I am as clueless as you are. But congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!

  14. This cracked me up. The pictures are hilarious too. I think we all have a list of questions that seems like everyone but us has all figured out. I for example have no idea how so many women have such great cleavage. I’m a chick with nursing boobs, so I should have cleavage. Nope just sag. So I guess I have no idea how to find the right bra.

  15. haha how funny that you’re now freshly pressed! I just discovered this by looking at various tags on a quiet afternoon at work. Moments later you’re on FP, congrats!

    • marinasleeps said:

      Probably be the last time. 😦 I’ll enjoy my one day of fame. Yeah! Too bad it doesn’t come with a gift card to Red Lobster.

  16. Hi Marina, foundation is used to even out your skin tone. If you have an even skin tone or don’t have anything to cover up, skip it all together. If not, liquid usually provides fuller coverage whereas powder is lighter and doesn’t mask things as well. In the end it’s a matter of preference and comfort. But your pores need to breathe, so if you are committed to wearing foundation make sure you are washing and moisturizing your face twice a day and exfoliating at least twice a week.

    Eye shadow is a struggle for everyone, but you shouldn’t match it to your clothes. You don’t want your face to blend in with your outfit; you want it to standout and be the first thing people look at. A couple things to remember… dark colors are typically best for an evening look or nights out. Pastels don’t look natural so if you want to use them, try to blend them in with other neutral colors. And although it seems boring, a medium brown eyeshadow works on almost everyone and happens to be the most popular color sold in the world. Good luck and have fun!

  17. Haha – I also ponder many of these questions as my beauty routine basically involves soap and water. I can tell you that a bikini wax involves slathering your bits with hot sticky wax and then having the dominatrix errr…aesthetician rip it off taking with it all your hair. It’s more painful than it sounds.

  18. Just got my first bikini wax last month and had no idea what to expect! It’s actually not that bad!

    You look gorgeous in your photo, so it seems like you’re probably better off without makeup!

    Oh yeah, and mousse is gross! Unless you have short hair or really frizzy hair, you shouldn’t need hair products.

  19. Well…..
    1. Mousse – Most ‘mousse’s are actually an alternative to gel or hair spray. So it holds your hair in a certain way for the day. Probably why it felt rather horrible to have it in.

    2. Oh foundation. I rarely use foundation because I rarely go to any events where I really need to “Look my best”. Foundation is mostly for achieving and even skin tone – so blotches and eye bags can be covered up a little. I dont think everyone needs it, or the full make up treatment anyways. Bit of eyeliner and you’re outa the door I say.
    But if you do have a seriously oily complexion, you tend to use too much powder to achieve the ‘not shiny’ look. Instead of foundation/powder i’d suggest a oil-tackling facial wash.

    3. A bikini wax, is a wax…in your bikini area – like waxing your legs… but in a more private area. Wouldn’t recommend doing it yourself first time. There are many types and shapes you can leave there. A Brazilian is all the hair gone, landing strip is where you’ve got a strip left at the top – and there are lots more different shapes you can chose from.

    4. Dont trust photos of celebs – all modified. Plus photographs can never catch the minute details like small hairs on your face. Dont worry about those, everyone has them – its called “down”.

    5. I think we all do the same secretly.

    6. Eyeshadow is down to preference. Also match the colours to your face rather than what you are wearing as much. I often wear darker shades on my lids because I dont have a very high nose and my eyes arent deep. So the darker shades make them look deeper. if you have very deep eyes, a bit of light colours might brighten it up.
    I tend not to bother with hugely colourful shades – most people dont. I just choose a lot of browns and beiges and golds and mix and match. Theres no need to look like Mimi there.

  20. Everybody wears their eye shadow like that. The more you apply, the cooler you become 🙂

    Cute post, and best wishes on your blogging!

  21. Yay! You got FP’d! Also…I’m glad that you did because now I finally know how to find your blog. Usually when you leave comments on my blog, your little Avatar thingy doesn’t have a link back, so I wasn’t sure if you had a blog or what. (Um…I suck at internet…so forgive me for not understanding how things work). So…sweet! I’m totally stoked now.

    • marinasleeps said:

      Girl Normal …you are my inspiration (sp?) …. if I had a speech ready for this I would have thanked God, my mom and you!
      How do I fix that Avartar thing?

      • Aw. Thanks! Regarding the avatar (err..Gravatar?) thing…I have zero idea. Mine just kind of did it’s own thing. Sorry.
        You could probably adjust it from your profile settings?

        Anyway, enjoy the ride. 🙂

  22. As long as you are giving your husband plenty of sex things things do not actually matter. Eye liner and a bit of lipstick and your all-in-one shampoo-conditioner are juuust fine

  23. I think you’ve got it worked out just fine. Don’t worry about the social push for women to constantly maintain a certain level of beauty using the products or procedures you’ve mentioned. That’s is fueled by companies trying to sell products. It works really well when they try to say how hideous we are in our natural states.

    Some women truly enjoy being “that” woman – the really polished, pulled-together looking one who knows the difference between off-white and ecru or something. But many of us don’t. Some of us are ok with being Plain Jane and beauty-product illiterate. My nails are never painted. As soon as they are at the ends of my fingertips I cut them. I do wear dresses, but I don’t like getting dressed up. I shave, but only when I feel like it. I only wear makeup if my skin is doing something funky, but I moisturize all the time.

    There are just so many ways to “be a woman” that we don’t need to tell each other (or worse, have a man tell us) how to do it. When you feel comfortable in your own skin, you’re golden. I did get the humor in your post, I promise. But just in case 🙂

    • marinasleeps said:

      Thanks … it was meant to be funny but when you are around dolled up women all the time … you start to wonder if you crashed here from another galaxy not long ago. I need new company! You can be my group leader!

    • ecoquisitive said:

      Just crashing in to say that this comment rules.

      It really can take a lot to feel comfortable in your own skin when even if you mute every commercial and close both eyes to magazine ads, you still know there are a gazillion products you’re supposed to Use! Right! Now! or risk the horrors of (gasp!) showing the real you. Especially the maturing real you. I’m waiting for society to realize that getting older doesn’t mean you’re no longer a viable prospect. Character lines mean you’ve lived, people!

      Anyway. Superb post, and many of your points I’ve always wondered about, so thank goodness for comments. And I hear you on being around gussied-up women. You can start out feeling strong & great and then feel shorter, squatter and frumpier than you actually are. Arrgh!

    • Can’t help but agree. I’m 28, living in a part of Sweden were almost all the girls (and even some guys) look and dress the same (actually saw a group of them the other day with the same style and exact same pair of shoes).

      I don’t wear mousse (never figured it out). I admit to using hairspray to keep my braid in place though. I don’t get a brazilian wax (tried it, but told my then boyfriend that if he wanted me look like that more often he’d have to start shaving his backhairs and never heard any more about that). I don’t touch my fuzz (although my Indian mustasch sometimes gets bleached). Make up… well, I moisturize my skin and keep it healthy-looking instead so I wont ever have to wear makeup (the stuff is the quickest way to destroy your skin anyway). Eyes… I rub my eyes so much I just end up looking like a clown.

      Despite this I get compliments, especially for my skin and eyes. My tip? Be comfortable in your own skin, because then you’ll end up beeing more beautiful than your overdressed and overly made up average girl with no self-confidence… and day of the year. And be happy that you’ve got a man that demands nothing else from you than you, just the way you are. 🙂

  24. LOL, I’ve never heard of anyone shaving the little hairs on their hands and fingers. Funny post, I have short hair so I don’t have to worry about mousse or anything like that I just wash and get my hair cut every two-three weeks. But I’m quite sure you’ll get the hang of it eventually, it’s trial and error, you’ll find what works for you soon.

  25. Mousse – Use it when your hair is still wet and blow dry it in. It’ll give you lift and volume. STOP using 2-in-1’s RIGHT NOW. That’s why your hair feels greasey.
    Foundation – If you don’t need it, don’t use it. Instead go for an SPF oriented facial cream.
    Bikini wax- is just scary.
    Eyeshadows – Neutral tones are great for day time. Find a colour either a shade lighter or a few shades darker than your skintone. When it comes to matching colour to clothes? Make your own rules. Remember, nighttime is play time.

  26. I hear you, it wasn’t until I was 25 that I started figuring some of this out (and to give perspective, I JUST turned 26). Can’t help with all of it, but here’s a shot…

    1. Mousse is, from what I can tell, hairspray only stronger. I’ve used it SPARINGLY while my hair is damp, then dried and styled and it’s helped curls stay in all day. But just like any other styling product, yeah, it usually makes your hair feel kind of heavy and unwashed. Someone with true experience can feel free to correct me.

    2. If you don’t need foundation, don’t use it. Your skin needs to breathe. I’m the same with powder; it makes me break out terribly. What I finally found is Physicians Formula loose mineral powder (which you can get at Target). It’s nice and lightweight and just gives a nice natural finish. The same company makes a cover-up pen to cover single pimples, and you cover it with the powder. For grease, Clean n’ Clear has little blotter sheets that work great but are a little pricy.

    3. If peach fuzz is all you have to worry about, if it’s not black then don’t stress. If it IS black, there are bleach kits. You can pluck single hairs that are blatantly ugly.

    4. Yeah, still working on this one, but I found something I like, also at Target. I don’t remember offhand what the brand is, but it’s an eyeshadow compact made to compliment your eye color. It’s got 6 different colors and it shows you which colors go together for when you want to look natural, when you’re at work, or when you’re going out at night. I think it might also be Physician’s Formula, but not positive.

    Hope that helps…..

  27. pinksilkjournal said:

    Mousse is supposed to be put on wet hair and then blow-dried, and it is supposed to give volume and control. It’s best on curly hair to help accentuate the curl.
    Foundation is to even out your skin tone. Instead of powder which can cake on oily skin and look like the Badlands, try an oil-controlling primer. Any beauty store will know what you mean when you say that phrase.
    Bikini waxes entail removing hair from your girly-regions. The amount of hair is decided by you. Brazilian means all of it’s gone, and you will be gently and professionally pawed all over to make sure it’s all gone. There is hard wax and soft wax. Hard wax goes on warm, and as it cools it stiffens until it can be removed by grasping the edge and yanking. Gently and professionally. Soft wax also goes on warm, but it requires a fabric strip to remove. Also it’s harder to clean off because it’s always sort of liquid.
    All excess body hair can be tweezed, waxed, or removed using a cream, like Nair. The chemicals work very well, however they smell not nice. Waxing and tweezing hurt. Shaving hairs will not make them grow back thicker, but they will be coarser because the ends will be blunt from the razor swipe.
    I dictate my eye shadow colors by my mood. Do I feel girly? I use pinks and purples (not crazy bright). Do I feel dramatic? I’ll wear greens and blues and black. Do I feel blah and moody? Greys and browns. Matching to your outfit tends to age you. Directly to the 80’s, sad to say.

  28. I feel your pain. At 32, I still don’t wear anything above basic foundation…which meant I was horrified having to paint up my face when I got married. Thank goodness that my sister in law happens to be an expert in all things make-up. Congrats on being FP’ed…

  29. I can totally relate to this post. I just made a decision to become more girly like a week ago, and one of my goals has been to put mousse in my hair every morning and then blow-dry it. Personally, it keeps my hair from getting all greasy-gross by the end of the day, and it makes it more consistent. I don’t start out with beautiful hair in the morning, then return home looking like Alf.

    I also got all jazzed about laser hair removal and have had 3 sessions to get rid of my facial hairs. I like it, but it’s a weird zappy thing about 20 times each session.

    🙂 Thanks for this post. It’s good to know that I’m not alone.

  30. I hate make up – blow it off! Good, funny post!

  31. Somehow I got here and took a break to read your blog. And… I like it. It`s funny.

    A big hug from Brazil!


  32. Here’s all I can tell you…

    1. Don’t apply mousse (not sure on the spelling, either) to your roots. I use it because my hair’s naturally curly and it helps not only smooth it out, but keep it smoother/less frizzy for longer. If you have really thin hair, you might use it for volume as well.

    2. I think foundation smooths out your skin, IF you find one that works well with your skin tone. I struggled with this, then finally found one from Mary Kay (don’t worry, I don’t work for them). Same thing with powder. And I struggled with blush, and found one at Mac I like. I like my makeup to look like I’m makeup free. So it was important to find as natural of stuff as possible. If you don’t need any of this stuff, you go girl! Don’t complicate your life by using it! 🙂

    3. It’s not as simple as saying it’s one thing… You can anywhere from some (just the part that would show with your bathing suit – hence BIKINI wax) to ALL (like our friends the Brazilians) done. And you can do a wax-wax, or a sugar wax. Sugar’s supposed to be less painful. If shaving does it for ya, just shave. Or, heck, go natural if that floats your boat. (I read less cleanly shaven is coming back. I guess stay tuned on that.)

    4. Well, I do my own facial waxing. I bought a professional wax kit with warmer. I do my own eyebrows and lip (even though I’ve been told I don’t need to do the latter). The trick is applying the wax in the direction the hair grows, then pulling it off the opposite direction. Get one or two done professionally and ask to watch (if they don’t face you toward a mirror). Oh, and the microwave kits? I learned the hard way aren’t very professional and are a mess. If you’re going to do it yourself, investing in a real warmer and professional wax is the way to go!

    5. LOL. There’s no five. I like your style!

    6. Have you seen those Almay shadows that are made for your eye color? That’s what I use as a base, then change it up with this freebie kit of a few different colors I got from Mary Kay (with the purchase of the aforementioned foundation and powder). And I THINK the Almay ones (there are two color combos per eye color if I remember right, I have two anyway for my green eyes) show you different ways to do shadow. It might be too explain without a picture. I normally do a dark color on my lids, followed by a brighter color on the creases and a dot right in the middle of the lid. Then I like to put my blush color on the outside edges of my eyes, just under the eyebrow to make my eyes look more open….

    Hope this helps. Being a girl’s a lot of work! 🙂

  33. Although I am aware of what these products and services are, it is really too high maintenance for my style. I don’t think it’s being lazy when you use shampoo and conditioner in one. That’s simply being efficient. Beauty doesn’t have to be so complicated. Less is always better. 🙂 Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  34. Hey: Your writing is funny and fun to read. However my thoughts about most of your questions about “how to be a woman”, by today’s apparent standards. My advice: forget most of it. I have spent almost all of my life surrounded by guys, first off two brothers (no sisters), then two sons (no daughters) and then working as a mechanical engineer (hardly any women), and don’t have very many women friends. So I have had ample opportunity to observe how males “groom” themselves and what chemicals they feel the need to apply to their bodies. Not so much. So I have asked myself over the years, especially during years when I had either very little time or very little money, “Why do I need to purchase all of this makeup, apply it and then re-apply all day at great expense and time, when they just toss water on their hair, run a comb through it and call it good?” Think about it.

    • marinasleeps said:

      True that sister…. I’ll just leave it to the pros.

    • ecoquisitive said:

      And then when you find out that products marketed for both women and men (anti-pers, shaving cream, etc) cost more for women when the ingredients are the same…boy, that gets my goat. Especially in the cases where there’s more volume in the guy’s product. Nice. Am I being marked up for them? Finally figured out that I don’t need the girly shaving cream when the guy’s shaving cream works just as good for less! I’m perfectly fine not having a pink can with a flower design, and I don’t believe the “but this is for sensitive skin!” hype.

  35. I wanted to say how much i have enjoyed your blog and also that hair care products etc confuse me as well. I can even relate to the hair on the toes bit. Adding you to my follow list. Thanks for the good read!

  36. Sanjiv Khamgaonkar said:


  37. Love your very funny post. The secret is: you don’t have to figure any of this out yet. You are so young! I didn’t get a handle on most beauty products until I was well into my thirties, and many not until over 40. Why rush it? It’ll just cost you more if you start now. (And all that damn waxing? Just plain wrong, in my view).

  38. I have no clue about any of these things either, here’s hoping that someone will be along to educate us shortly…

  39. Okay, so this was pretty funny. I don’t know how old you are (I’m in my fifties) but I can relate. I’ve never liked putting crap in my hair, but about ten years ago the hair stylist I see jokingly said, after I admitted to never blow-drying my hair or using hair spray, that I needed to go to ‘girl school’. We laughed, but ever since, I’ve wondered — am I missing some crucial part of my DNA that would drive me to want to shop, play with my hair, experiment with make-up, etc. So, take heart, you’re not alone. My advice? Go with who you are, that’s what’s real.

  40. Why do you ask? Did you use to be a man? 🙂

    • marinasleeps said:

      HA! Used to be a man. Real funny pal. Why did you see my spot on RuPaul’s Drag U?

  41. I’m with you. Makeup? What? I decided a long time ago that if I never wore it, people would be used to seeing me without it, then they wouldn’t think I was horribly sick when they saw me without it, like I did when I saw my friend at the store one morning, without makeup. I thought she’d kinda died or something. Now, if the occasion calls for me to not have naturally rosy cheeks, powder will do.

  42. 1. Mousse: Gives your hair lift. I stopped using it long ago, however, and prefer to use a serum instead (like Biosilk)
    2. Foundation: It should NOT be used all over your face and if you see a line along your law, you’re wearing too much. Try using a cream foundation instead. Go to your nearest Sephora for help.
    3. Biking Wax: It entails pain. Take an Advil or two before you go. Trim the hairs to about 1/4″ of an inch. First time should not be a Brazilian… get a landing strip.
    4. Facial Hair: Use tweezers on any obnoxious facial hairs. Leave the rest alone.
    5. Toe Hair: I shave it off. Leave the hair on your fingers.
    6. Eye Shadows: If you have to ask, it doesn’t matter. Just go with neutral colors like a brown pallet. Again… go to Sephora and ask for help.

  43. So funny. If it makes you feel any better, I’m still wrestling with this stuff at age 63. And why do companies have at least 10 products we have to use for our faces (like what’s the deal with toner?) and our hair? By the time I read all the things I’m supposed to do to my face before I go to sleep, I AM asleep.

  44. Being a guy, I have always had questions about the somewhat strange things that women do in the name of “feeling good” and underscoring their womanliness. I’ll add your questions to my list. Thanks!

    Some answers to the questions you asked, if you haven’t checked wikipedia yet:


    Hair mousse is a hairstyling product added to hair for extra volume and shine.”

    One could hypothesize that dirt is attracted to shiny objects. So, there, the extra volume holds all that extra dirt attracted by the extra shine in your hair.

    2. The evolution of foundation through the ages, itself seems to point to your breaking out reaction. That stuff is bad for your skin!

    … ceruse a lethal mixture of mercury and lead popular in the 16th century … to flesh-colored paste made of zinc, ochres and lard …”

    3. For this question, I had plenty of materials. After all TIMTOWDI.
    Sugaring sounds far less unpleasant than the other methods and is fairly cheap (and better still, you can do it from the comfort of your own home).

    4. Search for “celebrity facial wax” on youtube. Plenty of demonstrations.

    5. Thou art but a hairee-phalangee. 🙂

    6. I guess anything is fine alright as long as you don’t google “shouldn’t be using eyeshadow” and see your picture in the results.

    • marinasleeps said:

      Wow you had the best answer for a dude

      • Sometimes, with my curiosity about things like this, I occasionally have fleeting doubts about my whether my membership to the house of dudes is still valid.

        (Plus, I find myself drawn to the work of Lady Gaga. That’s more than enough to cast more than a doubt)

        Hope you got your answer in the Everest of responses you have had to go through.

        The internet is such a great place for for self-revealing material.

  45. I love my shoes said:

    Ha Ha so very very funny….. sounds like you need to go to “Glam school” or something…
    But I heard a little rumour that men like their women to be natural.
    You know…. completely make up free, hair they can run their fingers through….. so it sounds like you’re on the right track and us other women ought to be following your lead….
    I’m not sure about the not waxing through, I’d be in serious trouble if I didn’t do a little maintenance down there every now and then!
    Love the post, had me chuckling into my coffee so much I nearly snorted it back through my nose!

  46. hahahaha. that was great!

  47. I think you need to re-evaluate the questions you are asking because they are clearly a topic that brings discomfort to you. The old saying, ‘if it’s not broke, don’t fix it.’ It doesn’t sound like you actually need to do any of these things that you described. Being a woman isn’t defined by how many cosmetics you can fit into your medicine cabinet, nor does it mean that you have to be perfect. Embrace yourself (and your quirks) because that’s what makes a true woman. =)

  48. Ohmygoodness! I’m so glad this post was on Freshly Pressed–I have the same questions too!
    I’m 16 1/2 and I’m pretty much on the same lines as you when it comes to hair: I shampoo, and if my ends are feeling dry, maybe I’ll use some conditioner. I also use a heat protectant spray before I blow-dry my hair, which is delightful, mostly because it smells good and gives a little shine to my locks. I do wear makeup, but sticking with a super natural look is more up my alley. Foundation, I’ve heard, is designed for all-over-your-face use, to even out your skin tone. There are lots of kinds (powder, liquid, etc.), so I guess experimenting or talking with a makeup specialist would help you there. When I do foundation, I use my fingers to spread it around, and when it’s evenly blended, I powder my face to lock it down. Powder is a good thing!
    I can’t wait to see other replies, because I really want the answers to some of your questions!

  49. Hahha, very funny post but very interesting too! Wouldn’t mind getting answers to some of these questions, they intrigue me too! And YES for the kit bag at birth!!!

  50. I usually match my makeup with with what I’m wearing. As far as the daytime`goes I usually go for a natural look with lip gloss, mascara, and pink or brown eyeshadow. The hair I can’t help you with. I’m lost there. My look is nothing more than a ponytail every single day.

  51. Haha I always say that being a woman is more work, but it is infinitely more fun. 🙂

  52. Re: Foundation: Foundation really depends on your skin type. I use liquid foundation to cover up blemishes and red or blotchy areas, then a powder over top to even out the skin tone. Whether you need both (or either) of these steps depends on a) whether you already have a pretty even skin tone or b) whether your skin has blemishes/imperfections you want to cover up or. I have found powder/foundation as a way to stave off oiliness is pretty ineffective, but lots of companies have oil-absorbing sheets for blotting that work pretty well. As for breaking out BECAUSE of cover-up, I have very sensitive skin as well and I use Almay hypo-allergenic products only for foundation/powder. Even if you aren’t allergic to anything, they work great on sensitive skin.

    Re: Eyeshadow. Go to a MAC store if you have one near you and ask for an everyday look. They are awesome, awesome awesome. It’s how I got my two-shadow everyday combo.

    I am just as clueless about mousse. WHY? I hate mousse.

  53. SkyofRoses said:

    As far as the eye make-up goes, I don’t tend to go for “colors” anyway. The idea of wearing make-up so that people will look at me and say “Oh, she’s wearing make-up” seems bizarre to me. Use your make-up to enhance your features, not change them. Since you say you haven’t used make-up much previously, try starting out with neutral tones. For instance, maybe a brown eyeliner to emphasize your eyes (but not make it TOO obvious that you’re wearing eyeliner, like a black eyeliner would), and some tan or lightly colored eye-shadow. After that, add a touch of mascara and see what you think.

    As for the mousse, I don’t use the stuff. Hair products are hard to find, and it really depends on your hair type. I have naturally wavy/curly hair so I use shampoo and conditioner designed to keep curls from getting weighed down and a curl spray as I blow-dry. Also, blow-drying curly hair is a completely different story.

    If the powder foundation is making you break out, try using the Aveeno Clear Complexion daily moisturizer before you put on your foundation. Not only will it help fight the break-outs, but it will also help the powdery foundation stick better.

    I hope this helped!

  54. Hi, I happen to be a girly girl who can answer your questions, everyone’s hair is different, I would have your hair stylest recommend what product is best for your hair type. For some one your age, a very sheer light foundation with sunblock would just even out the skin tones, there are plenty of light, sheer products. Go to Sephora and get made up but keep it very simple, less is more!! Regarding waxing, I have been doing this for years on my eyebrow and bikini, it does not tickle, hot wax is rolled onto your skin, then ripped off! I think it is worth the pain, I enjoy the freedom. Eyeshadow is chosen to suit your eye color and skin tones, not to match your cloths, beautifully applied makeup looks great with anything you are wearing, I hope I was of some help, Amy

  55. I don’t blame you about the mousse thing, I’ve never understood it either. I tried to use it once and it made my hair feel like plastic so I think we’re safe sticking to just the shampoo and conditioner!

    As for makeup, you can find the stuff that doesn’t clog up your pores that are matte, they stop the grease and don’t give you mass breakouts. 😀 There are some pretty good ones out there but I tend to just stick with Maybelline because it’s affordable and works. But you probably don’t even need foundation anyway. 🙂

    And the waxing… people out there do wax off their womanly ‘moustaches’… but it’s beyond me. No one should dictate what eyeshadow you wear, wear what you want! 🙂 People just tend to use complementary colours for their eyeshadow for the same reason that people sometimes wear a black dress with red shoes. It’s just to complement the dress really, it doesn’t make you look attrocious at all!

    I loved this post. 😀 There are so many womanly things out there that are just beyond me and I had a good laugh reading this. Sorry for my insanely long reply!

  56. Amen sister! Seriously feel you on all and especially the eye makeup and foundation. It takes me 5 minutes to put on my makeup if that..ok so if I am going out and trying really hard it might take me 8. My sister on the other hand it takes her an hour and a half to get ready..really? why does it need to take that long???? The foundation..I used to use it because that’s what i was taught..No more i say..I haven’t used it for years now. I’m pretty sure my face and makeup looks exactly the same without it.

    • marinasleeps said:

      Right … I get ready in like 15 mins. I am not sure I wanna know the answers now. That might take away from my sleeping time.

  57. How do you actually look like?

    If you look good without any of these, then you dont need to know it I guess. Maybe thats why you dont know!!!


    • marinasleeps said:

      True … now that I think about it. I haven’t cleaned my mirror in years. I must do that tonight!

  58. lol oh my gosh I love your article. You are a girl after my own heart. I never know the answers to any of these questions. I think plain jane is beautiful. Don’t waste your time or money on these products… be yourself!! =)

    • marinasleeps said:

      Thank you so much … you made me blush … seriously. You are already helping me with facial problems!

  59. Wow there is another woman out there who feels the same way I do about foundation!!!!!! LOL

  60. Good morning!
    OK, I am going to tackle each question one at a time. Us girls gotta stick together, right?! 😉
    1. Please don’t use 2-in-1. It doesn’t have enough conditioner in it. If you’re concerned about cost, because obviously 2-in-1 is cheaper, buy Tres Semme. Big bottles for super cheap, and they have something for every hair type.
    Mousse is kind of like a new version of gel. It works best when your hair is wet. Only use a small amount. The instructions on the back of the bottles are usually pretty helpful, because every product is different.

    2. Ahh foundation. Every woman’s struggle. The key with powder is to not cheap out. Buy a product that does not have any oil in it, because that is ultimately what is causing you to break out. Perhaps you are allergic to the product you are using. Physician’s Formula has some great products the are hypoallergenic and natural.

    3. I will make this quite simple by explaining all types of down there waxing in brief.
    -Bikini: literally, just your bikini line. The line where your bikini or panties stops covering. Cleans it up all nice.
    -French Brazilian: Sounds funny, but it’s a real thing. Removes most of the hair, but leaves your most private areas protected. Sometimes known as a landing strip.
    -Brazilian: Everything is gone. In Sex and the City they compare it to being a hairless cat.

    4. I personally don’t remove any facial hair. However, people do get some waxing done to their faces. Usually just their upper lip. Another option is to bleach it. Then the hair is there, it’s just not as noticeable… unless you have dark skin. Then I’m not really sure.

    5. Leave the hair on your fingers alone. Shaving just makes it worse. If it’s a big problem for you, wax it.

    6. While we are told not to match our makeup to our outfits, that doesn’t mean that it should clash. Stick to similar tones. The main thing to think about is your personal skin tone and eye colour. Many companies now have products that are designed to make your specific eye colour POP. They’re almost like that little baby bag you are dreaming about. Again, I like Physician’s Formula. Almay is good too. If you don’t want to buy new makeup, stick to any neutral tones you have. Browns, beiges, and greys are pretty universal.

    I hope this helps you! Good luck!

    • marinasleeps said:

      is there a wax for your bum? not that I have a problem but good to know for …. my readers. yeah! my readers.

      • You can wax your bum. Why not? I have a dude friend who Nairs his. I say, if you can braid it, there’s probably too much… I wish your “readers” good luck with that… 😉

  61. I absolutely love this post! Annie

  62. Great post! I second how you feel.
    PS – Who cares what the celebrities are doing.

    • marinasleeps said:

      I love celebrities. They are like the gods in the greek times… Hmm maybe that is a bit much.

  63. Nice post! I don’t think you’re the only person to wonder about this! And I think I know the answer to your foundation problem: Some foundations and powders have a substance in them which will clog up your skin. Have forgotten the name of the substance. Just ask the salesladies, she should know.
    And one other thing: if you like to use shampo and conditioner at once, use palmers. Makes my hair feel really soft and shiny.


  64. You are a woman and whatever you tell us, men about you guys is what we ll believe…

  65. LOL….How true this is!!! My mom was NEVER into make up. I was a jock, so #1 who cared? and #2 it’d just sweat off anyway!! I always had good skin and complexion, thank God, so was always told “u don’t need makeup”

    I didn’t get into understanding and wearing it until my twenties as well. And still at 40, I don’t wear it everyday….more not, than I do! But I have answers if you really want them. Some may help. Le me say though, I am NOT an expert, I am just a woman like you, learning the “girly” things later in life!

    Mousse….depends on your hair type…if your latina…your hair, I am guessing, is pretty thick and course? mine is very fine and can’t handle mousse or gel…and I DON’T like the feel…so I skip it. If you do chose to use it, you don’t need much….not even a quarter size, but like I said…I don’t use and don’t like.
    OH, and about the 2 in 1 shampoo….you might want to reconsider….it’s not really good for any hair type bc it will leave a build up on your hair and in time, it will continue to feel dirty, oily, etc…if you do use it…do a “pure clean” like once a week….use just shampoo nothing else in it (u can even use something like Head and Shoulders) leave it in your hair while you shower, and wash out….u can use cond after, just don’t cake it on.

    Foundation: used to be, EVERYONE MUST wear foundation! But if you have an even skin tone, (like I had growning up) why do you need it? you don’t. Esp if you have oil skin (which I also did growing up) it just adds to the problem. If you have “spots” where you think you need it, use a non-oil based only in that area using as close to your skin tone as possible and blend. Thing is, Oil free, whatever u use.

    Bikini wax….oh the door you opened! A bikini wax is basically if you put on a normal bikini, what shows is your wax, so inner thighs….sometimes, request a little more….now, the Brazilian is completely different and has many different options! You’ll have to let me know if you want me to clue you in on this! I don’t mind. I had to go to the, well first I asked my hair dresser what it was -I’ve known her for years since HS and she’s done my hair for years – but she referred me to an awesome waxer who explained “full, the landing strip, the line” LOL..don’t freak just yet!! This is one “girly” thing worth it!

    Facial Hair…yes, everyone has it, whether it be dark or light, heavy or fine. 2 choices you can do….wax, just like you do your eye brows (which I didn’t wax til I was like 20!) or use a bleacher for your face. Now, my hair stylist friend, says it’s best to wax bc sometimes bleaching with affect the skin color…I’ve done both.

    Eye shadow…..Girl, the best thing I can recommnend which is what I usually do, get “earth tones” and stick to them! I don’t do blues, purples, etc….I have recently started experimenting a little but it is not bold. And yes, there is a way to put it on correctly….and depending on the affect u want! I know, Braz. wax all over!

    I do have a youtube site of a girl (actually my 17yr old tuned me into it) that has several different videos that show you how to get a certain look….walks u right thru it. I’ll have to get her name for you.

    I hope some/all/any of this helps! I feel your pain! I know your pain! but it does get easier…main thing is, if U wanna wear make up, wear it. but only bc U want to.

    Oh, hair on fingers and toes, I suspect yours is a little darker than mine, my fingers are very fine and light, not noticable….so I don’t mess with them…now, my big toe, another story…..not a lot, but dark…mostly I just shave it…but sometimes and u can just wax it. I have my own wax kit, so I just use whenever I want.

    I hope this sheds some light….and lets start that group :” dvd and “girl” kit to be given to each teen as they turn 13″! LOL

    Please feel free to check out my blog site at


  66. athenapearl said:

    I think I’m with you on this point. I’m still figuring things out! I would say though, if you feel like your skin is oily on your face, maybe you should try washing it with a different soap or cleanser. Powder is just going to cake itself on and sink into your pores. For an instant thing–get some blotting sheets (available in most drugstores cosmetic’s sections). These will remove oil without adding anything. And about ‘peach fuzz’–Marilyn Monroe had to have hormone injections to get that fuzz–so her face had more of a ‘glow’. So cherish it!

    • athenapearl said:

      Also, NEVER shave or remove hair from your face unless you HAVE to. Like everywhere else, when it eventually grows back it will be thicker and coarser.

  67. so do I…
    I avoid to use musse, it makes my hair break. Try to use leave-in… I use mousse only to go out to a party with hair looking like a bride’s hair (that kind of hairstyle that can’t break during the party)

  68. very hilarious post! there are many ways to be a woman. some would argue that your being a mother is the definition of woman.

    as for #6, i typically just go for brown neutrals.

    on days when i feel festive, i always go back to what i learned in my art classes, especially in my color theory class. i think of the look as a color palette and use complementing colors. for instance, if i’m wearing yellow or gold, i use purple eyeshadows/accessories as they are complements. blue’s complement is orange. i try to stay away from the green/red combination as it can look too much like the holidays.

    you can also get color inspiration from what you see in nature, for instance you can use green and orange (for a citrus-y effect). art can be a great source of inspiration, as well. think of the blues and yellows in van gogh’s starry night.

    there are many ways to use color for different effects. some days, you just want one color to pop that doesn’t exist in your overall ensemble. most women reserve this for shoes (such as the red shoe), but can be applied to any accessory (purse/bag) or body part (eyes) that you want to emphasize.

  69. Facial waxing does exist, and bikini waxing hurts as much as it sounds. Eye shadow … should… match your clothes? If you’re wearing a brown dress with red patterns… why would you wear green eye make up? You seem pretty head on about number 5… and I think you should only use foundation if you need it (means all the other mums will /even if they don’t say it/ think: how is your skin so clear?!). Finally, everyone has bad hair days. It has nothing to do with what you use, personally. Mousse… would be used to shape hair (eg. on a special night out?)… otherwise, do what you want. The less you use, often is the better… beyonce once said her face is so clear because she only washes it with water… so i suppose less is more. 🙂

  70. you’ve utterly failed as a woman. get a sex change.

    • This Much said:

      Yeah, she really has.

    • I don’t blame you for being a little naive about the whole make up & hair product subjects. In fact there are a lot of women out there that have no choice but to be oblivious about their looks either because of their economic status, they’re workaholics, have no extra time in their hands, and many other reasons. Don’t feel bad for not knowing these things because at least you’re making an effort by asking for a little help in the matter. If anything…
      1. Make-up… the only reason i think anyone should wear it is if you have bad imperfections. If you didn’t break out before you put make up on, but feel you have to wear it… you should go with the (Mineral Powder foundation by RIMMEL or MAYBELLINE) since they also reduce the oily complexion of the face, plus they cause less breakouts.
      2. Eye-shadows… Your best bet are neutral colors. They go with everything for now. Best way to know about any make-up related issue is by an introduction from a (MARY-KAY) consultant. But DO NOT have to buy anything unless you’re comfortable with what they offer.
      3. Hair products… The (CHI) brand is your best bet when you want to take care of your hair while experimenting with hair colors, straighteners, curling -irons, & other hair-damaging things on your hair. Also (StraightSexyHair spray by SEXY HAIR) is a good way to have a natural hair style. It may say ‘straight’ on the label, but it only makes your hair straight if you use a straightener or blow drier to activate it… otherwise it’s a great way to keep frizz away & have a natural texture.
      4. Facial hair- Razors have always been a good idea, but they are a hassle a lot of the times. Best razors to use are the top MALE brands. Although you do have to be a bit more careful with them. Male brands are always better only because they get closer to the skin & give you a day extra of no hair. A good shaving gel by SKINTIMATE or as you would prefer helps with a smoother glide. Also those eyebrow small razors can do wonders with most facial hair if you want to be more precise.

      These are only my opinion & what has worked for me most of the time. Results aren’t always the same for everyone. Have fun experimenting & wish you the best of luck.

    • Wow… and you need to get a personality change. Be helpful or don’t be here.

    • marinasleeps said:

      I will probably leave that for later. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce my sister to you!

    • marinasleeps said:

      I intoduce my sister to you everyone.

  71. I hate moose too. It makes my hair feel crunchy and dirty.

    As for number 2, try a mineral powder foundation like Bare Minerals. It is a foundation in powder form that goes on extremely light and helps prevent breakouts. It is easy to use too-just tap some powder into the lid, dab the brush on it, and swirl it all over your face.

    I’ve always been curious about (and terrified of) number 3 too!

    As for the eyeshadow color-just find a neutral shade that can be worn every day-if you have brown eyes try a light bronze.

  72. blackwatertown said:

    Lol to Laura’s comment.
    How could you have got to this point? By filling your life with other more worthwhile things, I suppose. Next you’ll be telling us that your ears are not even pierced – like many women I know.

  73. Ahna Rebekah Hendrix said:

    Hey girl ~ the truth is that the only reason I learned these things is because I went to Cosmetology school..otherwise I would be just as lost as you. But from one oily Latina to the next:

    1. Mousse is for fine hair, to give it volume, lift or help add some product for styling purposes. It should be applied when your hair is wet from roots to ends and make sure to get it all over your hands before adding it to your hair (IF you need it). Also, make sure to try and apply it evenly otherwise it will feel dirty and possibly even clumpy. When it comes to using products I always start with less, and then add more the next time if need be. But if your hair is anything like mine (wavy, curly, fine but thick) then you don’t need it really.
    2. At 28 (almost 29) I still don’t use foundation! And I wouldn’t – unless you have uneven skin coloring and want to even it out. If that is the case I would suggest going to a make-up counter and having a professional help you figure out what color is best so you don’t end up looking alien-like 😉 I am a personal fan of Bare Essenuals which is a mineral powder. Because it’s mineral powder it should actually improve your skin condition and won’t break you out if you forget to wash your face at night. It gives excellent coverage as well – so if you skin is a little off, it should even it out no problem. Forget about foundation – unless you “really” need it.
    3. Bikini wax….as a hairstylist I did many of these for clients. I myself, only did it once. I am personally not a fan of hair growing back – it itches, snags my expensive underwear, and isn’t attractive. That being said, many women do and it’s so quick that it’s painless. I personally use a trimmer and just keep everything very tidy. I don’t want to look like a ten year old, nor do I need to be hairy. It’s a personal decision.
    4. Facial hair…I wax and teased this as well on women. I have a little bit of fuzz, but it’s nothing that I care to do anything about. I would say to bleach it out though (there are kits at the drugstore) over shaving it or waxing. Hair that is shaved or waxed comes back thicker and faster – it’s not worth it unless you really look like your picture 😉 Again, personal opinion.
    5. Hands and toes…you can buy personal waxing kits at the store as well or just Nair it off. If shaving is easier then you don’t stand any great risk of having major grow back in those areas.
    6. Eye shadow. This one is probably out of my realm. I do not wear eye shadow – not even at night unless I am feeling extra peppy. However, the times that I have I go for very neutral tones: browns, creams, light pink (looks nice with brown eyes). Bare Essentials (I always spell it wrong) makes a really nice day color called: bare skin, which I use, if I use anything at all. I can say though that my little sister often tends to do the same mixing of her eye shadow with her clothing. She is a make-up girl tho and honestly, it usually looks pretty good because she has such an intense personality that she can pull it off. It’s really up to you and what you are comfortable with. If you think you look good then you have the #1 ingredient for looking good: confidence.

    All the girly stuff is actually a lot of fun, and although I much preferred climbing trees to playing Barbie growing up – I have come to really enjoy doing girly things.

    But I still love a good tree challenge 😉

    Hope this helps!!

  74. You are adorable! My roommate is going through the very same thing. Every week we delve a little deeper into girl stuff until her head spins. I’ll try to answer some of your questions…

    1. Mousse- F*ck mousse. Most people don’t need it. I really can’t understand it, either. In fact, I don’t think anyone does.
    2. Foundation can be a pain. I only just recently started using Bare Escentuals (is that how they spell it, I think so, but not sure). Its a powder system instead of some globby mess. I have pretty sensitive skin and I tend to break out a lot, but this stuff is amazing. It actually heals and protects. If you have a Sephora near you they sell sets that last about a year for maybe $60, brushes included, and it has a dvd that breaks it all down.
    3. To me, a bikini wax entails way too much money and awkwardness for my ladybits to handle. Plus, you have to let it grow allll the way out to get the best wax and who wants a forest? The whole point was to not have a forest. Get a trimmer. They’re like $20 at Walgreens and rechargeable and you can do it yourself.
    4. I’m not sure how serious your situation is, but Nair or Veet is awesome because its simple and cheap and (as long as you get the one labeled for faces) its safe.
    5. I grew hair on my toes once when I was younger. It went away. Don’t know what to tell you there…probably use your new trimmer on it.
    6. I do my eye shadow by eye color, season and event. In the summer and fall I use a warm palette of gold, green and brown (from top to bottom). Winter and spring is silver/white, lavendar and a darker purple. But, while you’re at Sephora the Bare Escentuals people have an eye shadow kit. I haven’t tried that one yet, though. Still waiting for my roommate to feel comfortable with the foundations.

    Good luck!

    • marinasleeps said:

      Thanks a lot…. you have no idea how much you helped. A trimmer? I didn’t even know they made those for women.

  75. Many of things are so on point, Marina! I like the humorous spin on them all though! Your line about the mousse totally made me laugh. Keep up the funny work! 🙂

  76. GOOD post. Seriously – it’s all about making money for those who create the products!
    I used mascara for years and now I only have 3 eyelashes left to paint! We are born with no makeup and hair goop and I swear the more you use the harder it will be as the years fly by. Don’t worry about the fuzz on your face – as you get older you will have a beard anyway! Just don’t shave it! You are probably the most beautiful right after you wash your face, with no makeup at all!

  77. Brazillians are painful, but can be nice. That’s all the advice I got, ’cause I’m pretty clueless about the rest of it as well. Solidarity, sista.

  78. […] I may be womanly disabled because there are a lot of things that confuse me about our gender/species. I guess you can say I am your 25 year old plain Jane mom who only recently  learned how to apply eye makeup. Yes.  Before I was comparing eye make up to physics. But after accomplishing that I started to wonder, is there other things about being a woman that I am missing? Are there things that women should just know? If you can answer any of my q … Read More […]

  79. 1) Mousse is meant to texture your hair. If it is making your hair greasy, you are probably overusing it. It’s a trial-and-error process. I personally have curly hair and it took me years to “master” the art of mousse, and even then, sometimes I use a bit more than is necessary. You can usually get that crunchy feeling to go away by playing with your hair a bit. If you’re going for a wavy/curly look, mousse is your best bet.

    2) Foundation is tricky. It is also a trial-and-error deal. Sometimes you can find the right color on your first try, other times it’s not so easy. If foundation or powder makes you break out, I would recommend not using it. I used to break out a lot, and once I stopped using foundation and started tanning once or twice a week, my skin cleared right up. If you feel you need foundation in order to even out your skin tone, I would recommend using the “mousse” or whipped kinds. They typically allow your skin to breathe better than other foundations.

    5) I can empathize with you on the hairy toe thing (disgusting, I know). It’s not so bad on my fingers (shaving or waxing would just make it grow back faster and darker), but I do shave my toes on a regular basis, so you’re definitely not alone.

    6) As for eye shadows, I pretty much use whichever one tickles my fancy that day. I do tend to color-coordinate with the clothes that I am wearing. Typically, my eye shadows, especially for daytime wear, are neutral. I like the Almay combination eye shadows which are meant to play up your eye color.

  80. Sarah Baram said:

    This is so comical and perfect. I hate mousse too. It’s disgusting and dries out your hair. You’re fine with just shampoo and conditioner, honestly. As for the rest? I hardly wear makeup, and do my own eyebrows… And thankfully, no bikini wax. The thought terrifies me too!

  81. TheBlueMorpho said:

    1. Mousse: I never use it. It does make my hair feel horrible and just sticky. If you want to use something better just use Tousle-Me Softly spray (in a purple bottle). I think it’s by Herbal Essence. Its not sticky at all, and it does the job. Plus it smells nice. If you want hold, hair spray is your way to go. Skip over the gels and mousses.

    2. Something like Bare Minerals might work better for you. I never use make-up. I feel that most woman are beautiful without it. Why wear make-up? What does it really do? You need a lightweight foundation. Something creamy, not powdery. Try, Maybelline Dream Liquid instead.

    3. A bikini wax is harsh. If you’ve ever waxed your brows, just imagine that, but much worse in a different area. You can get different waxes, from brazillian (they take off every hair), or just the bikini line. You can do this at home without embarrassing yourself at a waxing place. Wal-mart, Walgreens, etc. they all have those kits. I dont recommend useing Veet or Nair, as they DONT WORK. Complete waste of money.

    4. Haha, peach fuzz is nothing. I’ve got peach fuzz. Most people cant see it. Unless you’ve got some sort of weird gene, you’re most likely NOT going to look like that picture. Its not possible. So dont worry. They have waxing kits for those things too.

    5. I got hair on the toes too. Just shave ’em. Nobody can really see the hairs anyway unless their face is by your feet.

    6. Eye shadow is matched with eye color and skin tone, not clothes. Use this link: to determine your eye shadow shades.

    Remember, beauty comes from within. Embrace all that you have been given. Woman have it hard. We deal with our problems in different ways, BUT we are not alone. Most women know exactly what you’re going through. 😀

  82. ran across this as i was wrestling with my hair trying to make it bend to my will. and i had a good laugh. i think we all wrestle with these things.

  83. goodness, lady!

    1. Hair mousse is a styling product that works best with curly or short hair. You put it in your hair when its wet and then style normally. If your hair is crunchy afterwards, you brush it out and then you’re good to go. If you have straight hair, hairspray or gel work better to increase volume.
    2. If you want to use foundation or powder on your face make sure you a.) get a color that matches your skin, b.) don’t get the cheapest kind! Spending a little more on an organic or skin friendly kind can make a world of difference 3.) always, always wash the makeup off your face before going to sleep
    3. I’ll let you wikipedia bikini wax haha
    4. Facial waxing definitely exists, and most women pluck, shave, or wax some sort of facial hair at some point in their lives
    5. Finger and toe hair: most women have this too. See #4.
    6. Eyeshadow isn’t supposed to compliment your outfit so much as compliment your face and complexion. Pick eyeshadows that go well with your eye and skin color. Many times in the make-up aisles at the stores, there are eyeshadow packages that say which eye color they look best with. Also, its hard for the average person to pull of bright eye shadow colors on a day-to-day basis, so stick to more muted tones of the exciting colors you want to wear.

    Hope this helps!

  84. 1. Mousse is used as a volumizer for the hair. Your supposed to put it into wet clean hair and blow dry it in.

    2. Foundation depends on the skin, it does make people break out because your caking it on your face, if your skin is sensitive your going to breakout more so than other people. Try putting on a primer before you put on foundation, its supposed to help even out the skin tone but it is damaging. If you have a Mac store near you try their face primer. It is pricey, but definitely worth it.

    3. I’ve never gone in for a professional bikini waxing but there are at home kits you can use. Be careful not to over heat the wax though (example would be using a hair dryer to heat up wax that says to be hand rolled).

    4. If your concerned about facial hair, you can pluck it. There is facial waxing but most people just dye theirs a lighter shade so that it won’t be as noticeable.

    5. Hair on toes and fingers is normal, the majority of people have it. If you are that concerned you can continue shaving it off.

    6. As for eyeshadows, it depends more on the colour of your eyes than what your wearing, although it is a good idea to keep it from matching your clothing completely because the colour of your clothes will slightly alter the shade of your eyes. explains what colours are good.

  85. Damaris Cardenas said:

    Oh & by the way… if you should have any other questions or comments please do let me know. I don’t think I want to give out the same advice to someone else if I got anything wrong. Thank you.

    Best wishes!

  86. 1. I’m also a wash and air-dry kind of girl. If your hair works that way, work it.

    2. Foundation is meant to cover blemishes and even skin tone. It makes me break out. I don’t use it. Moisturize before you use powder, if at all. It’ll tell your face it doesn’t need to produce so much oil. (Coming from an incredibly greasy chick, herself.)

    3. Bikini wax…. *shudder* A Brazilian wax will take it ALL off. If that’s not your game, you can specify the bits you want removed. Word of advice? Shave it. In my opinion. XD

    4. You’ve never heard of facial waxing? Upper lip and eyebrows are most popular, and you can get them both done for under $12 most places. There’s also facial hair bleach you leave on for five minutes and it bleaches out the hair so it’s not as visible. Stinks and burns, though.

    5. AHAHAHA. I have toe hair and I shave it off, and if that bothers me, I pluck it out. No big deal. Most girls have it.

    6. Eye color. I stick to green, brown/copper, or purple. You can get eye shadow at any pharmacy that has your eye color stuck right on it. It also depends on what I’m wearing, but I dress like a boy, so it’s mostly dark colors or earth tones.

    Good luck being a girl. I still can’t get the mechanics of emotion and psychosis down. =P

  87. I love this post and your honesty (because I have a lot of the same questions).

    I recommend trying loose mineral powder foundation, like Bare Minerals. I have oily skin and despise liquid foundation so this option has worked great for me!

  88. Marina – this is hilarious!!! Unless you’re serious… in which case:

    1. Yes, it is spelled correctly, never use it though. Use glosser instead.

    2. Foundation is only for people with bad complexions or photo shoots. Use a light no-sun tanner instead. Under sun screen.

    3. A bikini wax entails PAIN!!!! Brazilians are even worse. I would only consider it if Brad Pitt would consider making love to me for a week, and then only maybe…

    4. Waxing your face is a good thing if your peach fuzz is dark or thick, only upper lip usually.

    5. Always de-hair fingers and toes… it should be part of a good mani/pedi.

    6. Eye make up should compliment your eye colour. I didn’t say match. My eyes are blue, hair is blonde, I stick to mostly soft subtle browns. Make up should always look natural. You are making up for what nature missed, not making a whole new face…

    Hope that helps…

    • marinasleeps said:

      Thanks … I was being funny … but seriously the funny thing is … I know nothing of these things. And I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing anything from the invisible book of being a woman.

  89. Hello!
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    I really like your blog, and I hope you like mine as well…

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  90. 1. I don’t understand mousse either. It’s totally gross. I think it only works in the hands of professionals.
    2. Foundation is scary. There are a million different kinds. I ended up going to Sephora and begging for their wisdom. All I knew was that my skin looked bad and I wanted it to look good. They inputted it into their super computer or whatever else it is they do and I bought it. I only wear it when I’m feeling fancy and in case of emergencies… like when my kid hasn’t slept through the night in three days and I look like a cadaver off CSI.
    3. From what I’ve heard, bikini waxing involves terrible terrible things I don’t want to know about.
    4. I wax my eyebrows but have given up on anything else.
    5. OK, I have random finger and toe hair too! I thought I was the only one.
    6. I rely on the cosmetic companies’ discretion on my eyeshadow. I bought the one that’s for your eye color. I guess it’s ok cos no one has arrested me for eyeshadow abuse.

    • marinasleeps said:

      Why God … why hair on the fingers and toes? Thats the question I am def asking when I meet him.

  91. 1. mousse is good in little quantities. apply to damp hair. and, it all depends on your hair type: I’ve got curly hair, so I like to use one that makes my hair curlier. If you’ve got fine hair, you can use one to give you volume.

    2. foundation is best for people who (in my opinion) want to cover something up, like acne scars. If not, it’ll just cause more trouble. I’d stick to a pressed powder to even your skin out (match colour to your jaw line) or skip it all together.

    3. bikini waxes hurt.

    4. facial hair happens. i think famous people airbrush that shit off. if it’s quite dark/long/noticeable, go to a spa and get it waxed off.

    5. pluck or wax the toe hair. again, if it’s not bad, no biggie.

    6. right now, there’s a trend in eye-makeup to match a palette of colours to your eye colour. If you’ve got brown eyes, for example, browns, gold and violet are nice. almay has kits already chosen for your eye colour. they are a good starting point. if in doubt, go for a gentle application because too much colour can be rather icky.

    good luck!

  92. These things are all unnecessary, but some people like to do them. I’ve always been interested in a variety of arty things, and once I began to look at makeup like this I had more fun with it. I think it’s the same with other things. If you have an interest/feel you should do it, there are ways to learn.

    1) Mousse is not for everyone. I think it’s kind of like a hairspray sort of product. It helps keep hair in place, so that’s why it feels gross after you put it in. What’s your hair type? If it’s curly or wavy, use a curl product to define the curls. If your hair is straight, try a shine serum to give it a pretty sheen.

    2) You might not be using the right foundation for your skin type. I have sensitive skin so I can break out really easily with certain kinds. The point of foundation is to even out your skin tone (if you have redness, dark circles or spots, it’s smooths out the look and makes your skin look fresh). Try a mineral-based powder or foundation! It works really well for me; it’s light and it’s supposed to help prevent breakouts because it has better ingredients.

    3) Pass! I’ve heard too many horror stories.

    4) A lot of women wax their upper lips. Some people use special bleach to lighten hair on other parts of their face.

    5) I have this too. If shaving works, go for it.

    6) Go with whatever looks good! I am actually a fan of using neutrals (browns mostly) because they go with everything. Don’t let rules about matching interfere with your intuition about what will look good. Just don’t over-do it because makeup is supposed to bring attention to your facial qualities, not the makeup you have on it 🙂

    Don’t worry about any of this though! Natural beauty is something to cherish. A lot of these things are just things our society has created as what women “should” do. If you like how you’re looking without them, who cares? If you do, however, want to “enhance” yourself, it’s okay to try to learn more about each thing. I learned a lot about how to apply makeup through YouTube. At first it was a little intimidating because most of the girls who are popular on there (for makeup tutorials) are young, but they know what they’re talking about. Even though I’m older than they are, I still learned and now I know how to do the things I want to do. It just takes a little time 🙂

  93. Mousse is generally used for that slicked-back look, as far as I know. If you aren’t going for that look, ditch it. A lot of hair products tend to make your hair feel dirty, but think about it this way: natural oils from your head are actually good for your hair, even though it feels gross…so use products (like pomade, for example) that make your hair feel a bit dirty but also are great at taming your hair to do what you want it to .

    I’ve found that wearing foundation underneath powder works fine. Powder by itself makes me break out horrendously…even though it seems like a good idea (sucks up oils), it really isn’t. Also, powder alone tends to cake onto my skin. Some people have success with powder by itself, but I’m not one of them. Make sure you are using mineral powder.

    Anyone who waxes or shaves a body part will have hair grow back fuller than it was before, so it’s really a matter of how much hair you are trying to get rid of. If it’s not noticeable, just leave it…otherwise, be prepared to wax regularly.

    Normally, ‘day color’ eye shadows just mean ‘neutral.’ It really depends on what look you are going for. ‘Night colors’ are more bold. If you feel comfortable wearing the same color on your eyes as on your clothes, go for it! Just own your look, and you’ll be fine. Your insecurity about your outfit will make others find it unattractive. If you think it’s ugly, it probably is.

  94. You’re not weird, it’s just that most females over-complicate being “a woman” 😛
    Trust me you’re not the only one with such questions in mind haha

  95. foreverloveandcrynomore said:

    Here’s my take on it: you are who you are, and it really doesn’t matter whether or not you do/use half the crap that so-called beauty experts try to shove down your throat. I don’t bother with makeup and I have short hair so half the time I don’t do anything to it. I don’t even shave my legs very often, and it hasn’t slowed me down yet. My secret? I just don’t give a damn. One of the hardest things about being a woman these days is hanging on to who you really are instead of turning into a glorified anorexic shell. So… really? Why care about what mousse does when there’s better things to do?

    @ Laura… how can you say she’s failed as a woman when there’s no guidelines to base ‘failure’ off of? There’s no book that says every woman MUST know exactly how to do her makeup, or that she MUST use at least six different things on her hair every day. If you’re obsessed with the idea of ‘fail’, then write about it. That way everyone can comment on their idea of ‘fail’ and leave the sensible people alone. -.-

  96. 1) Mousse – I dont know. I failed this section in womanness.
    2) Foundation – I use the liquid based one, make sure it matches to your skin tone, and you really only need a leeeeeeeeeetle bit. You dont want an orange face!
    3) Bikini wax – they use hot wax usually to strip off the hairs that are visible after your panties. Celebs probably use a “Brazilian” – with a landing strip, or a “hollywood” – so you look like a 3 year old girl.
    4)Facial hair – depends where it is, but they do wax. eg upper lip.
    5) Finger and toe hair – I would leave it hey. Keeps you warm in winter.
    6) Eyeshadow – not that I am anywhere near mastering this: but I would match! Just don’t do as she does in the picture – no-go zone!! Very feminine, very classy. not too much.

    Does this help at all?
    I didn’t pass this subject in primary school and am failing it even now, I am completely useless.

    Please feel free to look and comment on my blog:


  97. I don’t use foundation and I don’t use mousse…it’s extra minutes to the morning routine and causes extra greasiness. I’m better off without it.

  98. nysoonergirl said:

    I wouldn’t say you’ve failed as a woman… I’d say you’re just honest! I’m not much better off than you but I’ll help where I can… 4. I wax my moustache and bleach it in between waxings. I’ve come to terms with the peach fuzz on my cheeks though, so I’m not sure if waxing would work there too but I would imagine! 5. I shave my toes (!), but don’t tell anyone! I used to bleach the hair on my fingers when I was a young teen and very self-conscious but I’ve come to terms with that as well. Unless they’re beast like, I tend to leave it. 6. I usually use the same palette of eye shadows. I have green eyes and purples seem to highlight that the best. I believe for blue eyes, brown is recommended. I’m sure you can google what color eye shadow you should use for your color eyes. As for matching to my outfit, that’s a no. I didn’t know it was forbidden, I just know my eyes look best with purplish shadow so that’s what I use. Good luck! 🙂

  99. I can’t answer everything but I sort of know eye shadow. This is what I learned from the “Bare Essentials/Minerals” ladies:

    1–cover just the lid with a medium shade (I use a bronze shadow called “Tan Lines”)
    2–swipe the crease (just above the bronze shade) with something darker (I use a dark brown shadow called “Soft Focus”)
    3–apply the top (from the dark brown shade until just under the eyebrow) with a light shade (I use a light pink shadow called “Bliss”).
    4– Go back and lightly blend that dark shadow in. I’ve used a brush or just the tip of my finger.

    This looks like a lot of directions, but honestly I’m so used to it, it only takes me 3 or 4 minutes.

    Good luck!

  100. Good luck with all that. My main fear of plunging into make up was how horrifying I’ll look to others on the day I decide not to wear it…I’ve seen the un-made when they go
    au naturel…it’s a sobering sight when you’re used to layers of concealer.
    Any hoo, life has gotten you this far without needing to disguise yourself, why bother with perfection?
    Final word of advice: DO NOT make eye contact with the scary chicks at the frou-frou counters in department stores–you will end up looking like a shellac-ed harlot.

  101. A brazillian is a landing strip, a hollywood is all off, personally I shave because they need a five-o’clock shadow before they can rewax and it gives you mad ingrown hairs – not cool!
    Shaving does not make your hair grow back thicker, that’s impossible.
    When you shave since the hair is cut it comes back up with a flat edge instead of a new hair which happens when you wax, so it appears thicker.

  102. Well, this will cheer you up. By the time you get to my age and figure out all of this “woman” crap, you won’t give two s@!#s about looks at all. The beauty of getting older.

  103. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!!

    You have NOT failed as a woman! You have fallen into the “I’ve gotta/wanna look like a celebrity, but I don’t have my own makeup artist, hairdresser, life coach, personal shopper…” trap that so many ‘modern’ women are in.

    But if you really need makeup and hair pointers, you can get everything from simple tips to complicated techniques by doing a search on ‘makeup tips’, or ‘hair styles’. Or if you want a more personal tutorial on makeup, drop by one of the stores that do free makeup makeovers. You may or may not want to buy all the products they try to sell, but you will get tips on using them. Some independent consultants even have in-home makeover party options, and you can get a makeover in the privacy of your home.

    As for using mousse, a little goes a looong way! I know the label may say to use generously, but usually a little dab will do.

    Any waxing is painful, and if you want an idea about what it feels like, go to a beauty salon and have your eyebrows done. You may decide that a bikini razor is a better choice, at least it would be a less painful one.

    Before shaving any more fingers and toes, I would try the hair removal lotion. If it works, you can avoid having to shave them more often as the hair comes back coarser and darker. Or do your own home waxing instead of any shaving, that would last longer. I’m not an expert on this, but I do have friends who are hairdressers, and I’ve heard their (sometimes horror) stories.

    Above all else, be yourself, not somebody else’s version of what being a woman is supposed to look like!

  104. 1. I doubt you need to use mousse… but if you feel like your hair is dry or frizzy or something, you may want to try a different shampoo and/or conditioner. I have a hard time finding conditioner that makes my hair soft and comb-able but doesn’t make it greasy looking. The shampoo/conditioner combos never really work for me.

    2. If you want to even out your skin but don’t need to cover lots of blotches or anything, you could try a tinted moisturizer. That isn’t as heavy as foundation, and you can put the powder over it. Just be sure to look for one that is oil-free. There are also some foundations that are supposed to keep your skin from looking oily, but a lot of them are kind of thick and you end up looking powdery, so I would try it before buying. Also, if you are using pressed powder (in a compact) you may want to try loose powder instead if you start using foundation. It doesn’t go on as thick, but it helps keep you from looking shiny. (You can always keep the compact in your purse for emergencies!)

    3. Hot wax poured onto your skin, then getting your hair ripped out. Fun! If you are going to try it, definitely go to a professional. But make sure you tell them if you have sensitive skin — a friend of mine had an allergic reaction to the wax. Gross. You may also want to take a tylenol or two about an hour before you go.

    4. You can wax facial hair, too, but if it is more like peach fuzz, you probably don’t have to. You could always get one of those little electric razor things at the drug store (they are about the size of a marker). Contrary to popular belief, shaving does not make your hair grow back thicker or darker. It does sometimes feel rough when it is first growing in, because of the angle, and if your previous hair was bleached by the sun then it may seem a little darker. But you aren’t going to magically change the texture or color of your hair by shaving it.

    5. I wouldn’t worry about it… but again, you can always use the little electric razor thingy or a normal razor.

    6. You should definitely go for makeup shades that are flattering to your skin tone and not try to match them exactly with your clothes. But why wouldn’t you want to coordinate with what you are wearing? If you are looking for something easy, find something neutral (like a brown/beige) and stick with it. But if you have a couple different colors that you like, you can switch it depending on what you’re wearing. I mean, you wouldn’t wear red lipstick with a bright pink top (or vice versa), right? I think the same concept applies to eye shadow. Just be careful with bright colors. A little goes a long way.

  105. I feel your womanly pain 😀 I never had a mom around to teach me about this stuff, so I’ve been learning as I go.

    I shave my toes, I don’t get anything visible on my fingers–I’m fair-haired, German/English descent. Lostneedle is right about it not being thicker when it grows back; that’s just an old wives’ tale.

    I have peach fuzz and the occasional stray longer hair on my face/chin; I pluck the longer ones and leave the peach fuzz be.

    Mousse can be really good for fine hair; I use about a quarter-sized amount, spread it over my hands and then just kind of flick my hands over my hair. Lighter is better when it comes to most hair products.

    As far as eyeshadow.. I think what they mean about not matching it to your outfit is that you should match it to your eyes and complexion. I have green eyes and I use purple shades, green shades, neutral browns and blacks. The “look” is dependent on what time of day it is and how you’re dressed.. a heavy, smoky eye would be more appropriate for eveningwear than office wear; a lighter, more natural eye is good for day. If you were wearing yellow you could go with a neutral/brown eye with a teeny bit of gold.

    I don’t wear foundation either.. I use loose powder and give myself a light dusting when I decide to wear it, which isn’t often ^_^

  106. Lol, awesome post, and you know, you can find all the answers on youtube 😛

  107. I didn’t pore over all the comments to see if this has been said yet, but Almay makes a great, cheap and fool-proof line that caters to eye colors. So hit the drugstore, find Almay and the section on your eye color — it’ll have liners, shadows and mascara that’s meant to bring out the best in your eyes. They sell palettes of three colors and it comes with a guide that tells you where to apply them.

  108. Marina- you aren’t missing out on a thing 🙂 I’m old enough to be your mom and I have never used/done any of these things either. My take is this:

    1. Mousse is just an expensive way to make your hair feel yucky, so yucky in fact that your significant other won’t want to run their fingers through it or touch it in any way. It will also make your sticky so that more dirt sticks to it. This may be a conspiracy- you will note that mousse is made by the same companies that make shampoo. Um hmm.

    2. Foundation & powder are just expensive ways to give yourself pimples. They clog your pores no matter how lightly you put them on. These also may be a conspiracy: you will note that most of the companies that make make up also make acne washes and rinses and creams. Yup.

    3. Bikini waxing is an expensive way to hurt yourself. It entails putting warm wax on the hair on some very sensitive areas, covering it with strips of cloth, then after the wax cools and hardens the strips of cloth are quickly pulled off, pulling the hair out by the roots. It hurts like #*@!.

    4. Facial hair- if you only have a little, shaving is ok. They also make little strips with adhesive that you put on and leave on for a little while and then pull off, pulling the hair out. The advantage to this is that the hair does not grow back as fast as it does when you shave.

    5. Ditto the above for hair on fingers and toes.

    6. I never wear eye shadow it just looks too unnatural to me.

  109. tiradesfromthethrone said:

    I am a huge girly girl. I go no where without make up and heels. Just experiment with products until you find what works for you and practice. It’s so natural for me, I don’t even think about it anymore.

    I mix and match product lines and change brands often. It is part of the fun.

    As for cleavage, one of my specialties I might add…I only own Wonderbras. I even wear them on the treadmill.

  110. I never had girls, but I think I would have requested the Kits you suggested when THEY were born, only common sense! I happened to be born with the Makeup gene!! It looks like you got enough advise already, so not gonna inundate you. Some people have the gene, some don’t! My Girls probably would have gotten it, I am a Very Girly Girl!! LOve Nails, Make Up all that Stuff! Good Luck with Your Looks, It’ll Happen …Go To Any Big Dept. Store Armed with A Credit Card & They’ll Teach You for a PRICE!!!

  111. Hi, I haven’t checked all the comments so I’m sorry if I’m reiterating something already posted. I’m also a Latina (colombian parents). I have curly hair.

    Girl, I will tell you, when it comes to hair, you might have to try different things to see what works for you. What works for some certainly does not work for all. So definitely be prepared for disappointments and money wasting. Sucks I know.

    Mousse is intended to keep a style together and/or prevent frizz. It takes the place of hair gel basically.
    Sometimes it can be the brand that you’re using so I would say try at least two more brands before you give up on it.
    I don’t know what kind of hair texture you have but I would say if you don’t have wavy/curly hair, Mousse may not be necessary. You might just need a small amount of hair spray to keep the surface hairs from flying away.

    Ok, I could go on and on but I’ll stick to answering ur questions haha.

    Foundation is not necessary if you have good skin. By that I mean no acne.
    If you get the occassional pimple who cares? Don’t use foundation.
    I would suggest a bronzer. Brush some on ur cheekbones, the temples of ur forehead…you know, the way u’d put blush and there you go. Sometimes that’ll be all you need.
    I use foundation at times and that’s because I struggle with moderate/kinda severe acne. On my good days I just use bronzer and it’s enough to hide some blemishes.

    Oh man, i don’t bikini wax. I can’t I break out with any wax. I’ve broken out doing it on my eyebrows so IMAGINE! …No way.
    What I do to take care of it is to shave. Plain and simple.
    Yes, even those….um….areas..
    Yes, it’s possible. Some people freak out about doing that.
    My suggestion: These are NOT ur legs so take ur time. As a matter of fact I would actually take the razor and “air shave” the area so that I can get familiar with the way I should hold my razor to get the job done so as to not cut myself. I haven’t cut myself yet and I’ve been doing it for years. The cool thing is that you don’t have to do it everyday…so it’s not some crazy chore. If ur in a relationship you could still do it like every other day or every two/three days or longer….depending on ur …uh body of course.
    By default if u think/know ur going it…

    They have lazer treatment to permanently get rid of hair..even there…so maybe look into that? One of my sister’s friends did it…it works.

    Facial hair…I have my share as well. Shaving it works fine for me. You don’t get a five o’clock shadow or anything so shaving is fine in my opinion. If you have a little hair under ur lip shave it. U don’t have to do that everyday either…just when u start seeing it again. It takes seconds. Soap, water, swipe, done.
    If you have any …sideburns..haha…(I do) I take care of that using an electrical razor. It’s kinda like giving urself a shape up. haha…
    Depending on how fast it grows, you might only need to do that once a week or bi weekly.

    Eyeshadow? I love eyeshadow. Picking a color just depends on how u feel. If I feel all blah or it’s raining outside I use dark colors, usually blue, purple, grey or black.
    Happy? then whatever bright color u want.
    Brands like maybelline have mini kits with like 4 colors and on the back it’ll tell you on what part of the eye to apply them. I would say if you just want to look good without all the research, get tons of those. They’re inexpensive nice and simple.
    But still check out the make tutorial videos on youtube. sometimes it’s fun just to watch them apply it.

    I hope this helps. So yeah…to recap: Good luck with ur hair product search it may take a while…but if you have curly hair..I’ve got one brand for you…Beyond the Zone.I got it at Sally Beauty Supply…in particular the Noodle head collection they’re orange bottles (get the curling creme if you don’t want to use so many products)..can’t miss them.And a huge purple spray bottle that will last u forever…known as THE SCRUNCHER. Remove the creme and just use the spray if u feel greasy, Use Bronzer instead of foundation, And shave, shave, shave…save ur money and u won’t have to worry about ur skin getting ripped off (I’ve heard some horror stories).

    I know how it feels to try to figure those things out so I hope these help you figure it all out sooner. Good luck. 🙂

  112. OMG! about the facial hair…You can pretty much shave anywhere (toes/whatever)…but whatever you do. DO NOT shave under ur chin.. The rest of the hairs grow normally but for some reason that whole area around the neck…those grow weird and worse.. Pluck those instead or if it’s not very noticeable…leave it alone.

    K…that’s it..haha…

  113. […] What I Haven't Worked Out About Being a Woman | Marina Sleeps's Blog I have naturally curly hair but if I leave it natural it borders on the frizzy side. I get a Frizz Ease mousse that I put a (tiny) blob on when wet and let my hair dry naturally and it somehow kills the frizz. It's like a science though . […]

  114. Raisin Girl said:

    Wow, girl. Congrats on being FP, you’re so popular I couldn’t read all the comments. I hope I’m not repeating what a dozen people have already said. I’ll give it a shot, though, because I’m a former tomboy who has slowly become quite fond of primping like a girly girl.

    Momma always told me foundation was “to cover up the ugly”. Once I started realizing the miracles it worked for my uneven skin tone, I understood what she meant. If you are clueless about it, you probably don’t have a lot of ugly to cover, so congrats. Stick with the powder.

    I can’t give advice on mousse, as the only products I use on my hair are shampoo, conditioner, sometimes a thermal protectant (if I’m gonna hot-iron it), light hairspray, and a miracle I discovered from Redken called Wool Shake. I’m a honky, but my hair is really fine and silky, so Wool Shake gives it texture and pumps it up, just makes my hair look tousled and sexy. Being Asian, I’m guessing your hair may be the same way so you should check it out – it smells awesome too, and won’t make your hair feel like you used $1 shampoo and dried it out the car window like mousse will. (NOTE: I’m broke as hell and unemployed, and Redken aint payin’ me a dime, so try it or don’t try it – I’m not a spambot trying to sell you on it.)

    Bikini waxing – well, this issue depends on your current grooming habits. If you just trim with scissors or let her grow wild and free all 70’s-like, then you go girl. But if you shave, you need to SERIOUSLY rethink that. Personally, I find pubic hair inhibits my ability to climax quickly and powerfully, so I like to be bare. Shaving is not an option. It’s itchy and creates bumps, not to mention it’s stubbly and you have to do it so often. I feel so irritated when I shave. Waxing leaves you oh-so-smooth, it feels amazing. The pain aint bad, and hell it’s 2010, find a friend with a lortab and go for it. Get the full Brazilian, let ’em tackle your butthole too. You’ll never turn back. Get over your modesty – places that do body waxing have seen it all, and it’s not like you have to hang out with them afterward. From your pic, you’re pretty amazing-looking, so you shouldn’t sweat it. I’m chunky, myself. 5’8 and 170 lbs. Screw it, there’s good coochie up under that poochy belly, and I’ma have it groomed just so. My fat ass is paying like all the other women, and I’ve never been treated with anything but complete respect (Bombay in Memphis is the best place on the planet for a bikini wax, but I’m not sure of your location, as I just stumbled upon you. Look for online reviews of places closer to you.)

    I don’t have hair on my fingers, but I shave my big toes occasionally when they look fuzzy. I’ve done it for 15 years, it’s never grown back thicker or darker. I think that’s bullshit.

    I don’t have facial hair but know ladies who wax theirs. I have my eyebrows waxed. Don’t let anyone ever talk you into threading your eyebrows – that hurts like hell (says the chick trying to sell you on full Brazilians). I have what I call an “old lady hair” that sometimes grows out of a mole. (Gross me out, right??) I pluck it.

    I’m zero help on the eyeshadow. It tears my eyelids up so bad, and I’ve tried expensive hypo-allergenic brands. I just can’t wear it. My eyes are light green, kinda striking, so I just play them up with a little soft eyeliner on the bottom and some dark mascara on the top. I wish I could experiment with it though – they make shades now that are custom-matched to your eye color (and I hear eye color should determine the shade you choose rather than matching it to your clothing).

    I love women, I love my fellow sisters. I love that we have the choice to ignore all the beauty product junk and be our natural beautiful selves, but I also relish playing with girly things and watching myself transform in the mirror. It makes me feel pretty. If it makes you feel frustrated or inept, fuck that noise! Throw down the wands and sponges and curling irons and be comfortable in your own skin. No beauty product rivals confidence.

    Nice post, by the way. 🙂 I hope your new blog posts post to your twitter, because I just followed you so I can keep up. (I’m @msraisingirl, nice to meet ya!)

  115. ecoquisitive said:

    As far as de-hairing goes, do whatever makes you feel comfortable to get rid of it. In the meantime we can tell evolution or whatever to hurry up and quit with the toe-hairs already. Don’t need ’em to keep warm anymore!

    This has already been said, but it’s worth repeating: Shaving does not make hair grow back thicker or faster. It only seems that way because you’re not only paying attention to it now, but since the edges have been chopped off, all of the little buggers will feel rough AND feel like they’re setting up a colony and inviting their friends. You probably already know this but it’s time this myth has been put to bed. I remember hearing this debunked in 2nd grade. One less thing to worry about…

  116. Raisin Girl said:

    Did I say Asian when I meant Latina? Jeez. Forgive my ignorance. Glad I read over that. To be honest, I’m jealous of both Asian and Latin women for both their gorgeous complexions (I’m so blotchy), so it’s an easy mix-up in my mind when we’re talking pretty skin.

  117. lol Good Stuff. I can tell you from 40+ years of hanging out with guys the only thing they will notice/care about in your list is the bikini wax. But you should do what makes you happy, not what makes them happy. It’s not bad, but if you’re really that freaked out, get your fingers and toes waxed, they are just as sensitive as your more private parts.
    as for the rest, skip the mousse, get a good leave in conditioner, and stay with natural colors on the makeup. have fun, please yourself! (Just don’t outline your lips with that God-awful lip liner, that stuff ought to be illegal!) Cheers!

  118. Well.. chances are somebody already said this… But…

    Only do this stuff for yourself because YOU want to, not because society wants you to. You’re just fine the way you are. 🙂

    1) I don’t know your hair type, but all i can say, don’t use 2-in-1’s anymore. Go buy a single bottle of Suave (or something) shampoo and condition in your favorite scent and go from there. It’s cheap enough, and cleans your hair, and from there you can experiment with different types. You likely don’t need to use mousse.

    2) Foundation. Try a mineral brand, like someone mentioned Bare Minerals, and someone else mentioned Physicians Formula. You can get inexpensive brands over the internet, and often get free samples to help determine your color. If you’ve never worn makeup before, and it’s causing you to break out, you could be allergic the ingredients of every day makeup. That’s what happened to me. So if you want to try foundation sometime, start with a mineral one because they’re better for your skin, and often times foundations with medication geared to clear up acne, can also cause it (if your skin is indeed the sensitive type). I switched to all natural skin and acne treatments. It’s much better to keep chemicals off of your skin anyway. Also, NEVER wear your makeup to bed!!

    3) Bikini wax. If you’re tired of gardening down there… go for it! See if you can find a place that does it that is recommended through friends. You don’t want to go to just any old hair and nails place. You’ll want to look into a “spa” or something similar. You want a GOOD skincare service. A good esthetician will be able to answer all of your questions, will properly prepare your skin which sometimes includes a light powder, and do proper after care which can involve wiping off the waxed areas with a soothing oil or lotion. They’ll probably give you little paper throw-away panties to wear to both cover you and to help give them a guide. And although a bikini wax will be near your sensitive bits, mostly thigh crease area, a Brazillian is for the REALLY sensitive bits. I promise, after a few times you’ll get used to it and it doesn’t really hurt so much. But you got to make it routine, and not flake out, or else it’s like starting over.

    4) The same place that does bikini will do facial waxing too. Your face will be slightly irritated, so I usually do it (I do it myself at this point) at night so it can heal over night. Skin heals best over night. You may also get one or two pimples at first when the hair grows back, but it really depends on the skin type and skin care regimen.

    5) I wear colors to match my clothes anyway unless it’s a color that I know looks gross on my face. It all depends on how you put it on. And it takes practice. So just get a couple of neutral colors either in your skin tone range or like Danielle suggested the Almay palettes that compliment your eye color. You can find makeup blogs around the internet that have good tutorials. Some of the girls go crazy with the colors, but the basic principles of application are the same.

  119. LMAO!!!

    For one Smokin’ Hot Latina, you sure are modest, Marina 😉

  120. debgar12000 said:

    Regarding Bikini Waxes…check out this funny, G rated video. You may decide not to wax.

  121. You know, don’t even bother to guess what celebrities are using, because I can tell you, they’re not. Nothing but editing on the magazine pages and the TV screen to make them look “perfect.” Just do your own thing.

  122. crossyoursweetheart said:

    I’ve decided along the way that there really are no makeup rules; I’ve always made my own. Perhaps that makes me “out of the loop,” but I haven’t died yet from a makeup faux pas. I never use mousse, I don’t get bikini waxes, and I have no idea how to keep my skin from breaking out week after week. We’re all in this together. :]

  123. eroticagirl said:

    I haven’t figured a lot of this out myself. But I’ll tell you what I know.

    Mousse sucks — I can’t use it on my hair because it makes it sticky. Yes, I put it on while my hair is wet and blow dry it in an effort to look beautiful. Bottomline: it doesn’t work for me. Not unless they come out with a whole-body mousse, then I might try it again.

    Foundation? If you don’t want to wear it, don’t. My face breaks out when I wear it to, so I just choose not to. Doesn’t mean you can’t still do up your eyes and lips.

    Waxing? I’ve waxed my legs, eye brows and face before: lasts a long time. Never have done the bikini area because it SMARTS….a LOT. And a Brazilian wax is having everything *down there* and *up the back side* hot waxed and ripped from your body. No f***ing way.

    Eye shadow? Not sure about that one. I just choose what I like and style be damned.

  124. Hi! I like your post…I don’t really ever wear mousse…but I believe it is supposed to make your hair hold it’s style. And I love foundation but have recently been using concealer instead…so I just put it in spots that I need it and that way I don’t have to put it all over my face!

    My sister told me you are not supposed to match your eyeshadow with your clothes…but I do it all the time! It looks fine to me!

    • marinasleeps said:

      yeah as much as people tell me not match the eyeshaddow to your clothes … I have to … I love to match!

  125. I’ve got a traumatizing post coming up about bikini waxing. If you’re going to go there, please have a friend take you and drink at least 2-7 shots of something strong in the parking lot. That will dull the pain and humiliation.

    As far as the other stuff goes, let me know when you find out what in thee hell mousse is supposed to do. I put things in my hair and it never looks any different.

    • marinasleeps said:

      OMG I will stay tuned to that. Post a video too! Close up camera shots are encouraged!

  126. Haha! Nice one. Be the way you are and that makes you unique and enchanting! 🙂

  127. Kandee Johnson. That’s all you need. YOUTUBE this name and all your questions will be answered. Or look at her blog for a week or two.
    She is the ‘opposite-you’…. the only thing she knows about is girly-goo stuff! (She’s adorable too though!)

    My only advice…..waxing is not something one should do to themselves!

    Good luck!

  128. joahnadiyosa said:

    hi! just by reading the title of your post caught my interest already. trends nowadays is really a crap, i say. it is not that i do not wear make-ups or any sorts of products just so to make me look like any other women such as celebrities. This, however, bugs me off. i had the same experience, specifically on wearing foundation on. since i started putting such, my face has become soooo oily that i even told myself not to use it anymore. anyway, what i want to say is that, you don’t actually need these sorts just because other women do and they look beautiful on it while you don’t. just feel pretty and you will be pretty. you need not to put your feet on their shoes just to get along with what is in. on the other hand, if you think you really need these kinds to improve your self-esteem, there are products that are exclusive to certain types of skin or hair. and the waxing? it’s a matter of hygiene anyway so it’s not really that bad.
    you are pretty, woman! 🙂

    • marinasleeps said:

      Why thank you. Sometimes though … you know those sometimes … yea I get those sometimes.

  129. Don’t worry. When I was 16, I befriended this really pretty model-looking girl in school for a Spanish project. One day I expressed my concerns to her and she took me under her wing, meeting up at an Ulta store where she laid down the Law of Loveliness for me! I thank her to this day. I’ll throw in my 2 pennies on this (as if you don’t have enough advice, lol):

    1) It’s spelled right, and no, you don’t HAVE to use it. It’s supposed to keep your hairstyle in place, but I think (b/c I havebraids) it’s going the way of the dinosaur– obsolete.

    2) Foundation is to cover up blemishes and/or even your skin tone from splotches. If you don’t have those problems, no need to use it. Powder is to keep your face from becoming oily. If you’re having problems with oil just by using powder, then you may be putting too much on (or not). I have oily skin regardless, so I use powdered blotting sheets thru the day (Sisheido from Sephora, about $17). Blot, don’t rub!

    3) Amkusha summed that up nicely. I haven’t tried it myself (I just shave), but I wouldn’t recommend it. Oy.

    4) Light peach fuzz that no one else can really see is no big deal. And unless you’re obscenely rich, don’t compare yourself to celebrities. They have the best that money can buy to look like they do. And magazines are so Photoshopped it’s not even funny.

    5) You’re fine for #5.

    6) Dark eyeshadow on the lower lid is normally all you need, but I also put a light dab of whatever color I’m wearing on the corners of my eyes between the eye and nose and smooth it in. That color is very light for the day, and dark if it’s nighttime and I’m going out.

    Hope all of our advice helps! 😀

  130. wow, it’s girl power on your blog today! 🙂 I match my eye shadows and don’t think I look like a freak and I hate mousse. I’ve used it a few times…I don’t even like hairspray. ha. the blog is pretty funny.

  131. I hope you have a high pain tolerance. Those issue that you refer could be painful. Better just brace yourself and take it like a woman.LOL!

  132. Alright, let’s see if I can tackle this since becoming a spa girl I’ve been forced to convert or die when it comes to products and other stuff I would never touch nor dream of doing.

    1. Mousse I think is for men, hair spray is for girls, ummm… don’t put too much in your hair (that was my problem) because it will make your hair very greasy and feel like you haven’t washed it in days. That’s all the advice I have.

    2. Umm.. I don’t wear make-up, so I’m lost on this one. Make sure you take off the foundation when you go to sleep because it’ll clog up your pores and that’s probably why you’re breaking out.

    3. Bikini wax generally means you put on a disposable pantie and they wax around the ‘bikini’ area. French bikini don’t try it because they are all up in your stuff. Brazillian I would never do even if someone paid me to…

    4. They do do stuff for facial hair, like lip waxes, chin waxes, ect. I once had a co-worker who no longer works there tell me I should get my lip waxed… I told her if she was that close to my face she needed to back up. I have very little finger hair but do have some toe, I think it’s more common than you think.

    5. No clue, I don’t know what I’m doing with eye color, I’ve abandoned all hope. Anyways, I feel for you with this post, like I said, I’m so not a girly girl.

  133. I guess you’ve got enough and more advice by now… I used to be like you. Actually, I still am… Anytime I walk into the make-up section, I get all befuddled by the colours there and the tones and painting is a hobby of mine!
    The best way to go I figured was to experiment… or let that person there pick out stuff for you and if it is too bling, leave it out.
    It is a pain to be a girl sometimes… hair in the wrong places, the constant pain of waxing… who made up these rules anyway!

  134. Why must being a woman involve these things?
    Honestly, I can never understand why we got stuck with all the shaving/waxing, makeup, and heels, while men can just shower, dress, and walk out. (Okay, well, technically they have to shave too, but we have more area to cover!)

    I don’t usually use makeup, so I can’t help you there. Although I’ve heard that makeup counters in stores are usually pretty helpful. And when I needed to figure out how to apply eyeshadow, Youtube was my best friend. Sadly.

    Everything else, a disposable razor will do the trick. Yes, snipping off those hairs on your digits is nothing to be ashamed off, nor is shaving off that peach fuzz on your upper lip. We all do it. We just don’t tell anyone about it.

    • joahnadiyosa said:

      hi! you are right. i am really disgusted having the thought that women have to do a lot of sorts like these while men don’t! (sigh) i hope that we get to realize that we need to beautify ourselves not because it is the standard of men for women nor the society of what a woman should dress or look like. Instead we wear make-ups and all because we feel like doing it and that we feel comfortable about it, without anymore regard on how others will judge us. 🙂

  135. […] I may be womanly disabled because there are a lot of things that confuse me about our gender/species. I guess you can say I am your 25 year old plain Jane mom who only recently  learned how to apply eye makeup. Yes.  Before I was comparing eye make up to physics. But after accomplishing that I started to wonder, is there other things about being a woman that I am missing? Are there things that women should just know? If you can answer any of my q … Read More […]

  136. pasdexter said:

    I loved this post! I may only be 21, but I have the same worries and fears that you do! I sometimes feel that there is so much expected from us women, although I’ve recently come to learn and realize that men have it just as bad. But at least they don’t have periods or have to worry so much about makeup haha 🙂

    Here’s some comments I have:

    1. Mousse – Have not used the stuff for a long time and didn’t really know what it was supposed to do in the first place. I am blessed with pretty easy hair to take care of and style (unless I want curls – Asian hair just does not keep curls well for some reason :P), so I mainly just experimented with it as a kind of alternative to gel. That and I love Chocolate Mousse, so I wanted to impart some of that deliciousness (stupid yes haha) to my hair.

    2. Foundation is really nice to have on since it evens out your skin tone. Matching your exact skin tone, though, is an almost impossible feat unless you are willing to put effort into finding affordable brands (the customized ones are quite expensive). It comes in a variety of forms – powder, liquid, and a matte type (not quite powder, not quite liquid). I have oily skin as well, so I use powder, but some brands do tend to make my face break out (Covergirl does, but maybelline and l’oreal do not; I’ve yet to try more expensive brands since I’m on a college budget haha). However, I always remember to buy new foundation every couple of months or at least wash/change my sponge since they can get infested with bacteria. If you don’t have much to cover up or even out, I would just say leave your skin alone or apply make-up sparsely. For oily skin, you can always use those blotting papers ( to manage a greasy face. 🙂

    3. I have never had a bikini wax but the experience really varies depending on your pain threshold and also on the person you pay to do it.

    4. How much hair do you have? If it’s just a little bit of fuzz, then waxing may be a good start. And also celebrities have photoshop to help them, whereas we real people do not haha. 🙂

    5. This is a much more common problem than you think! People with darker hair aren’t so lucky as our blonde counterparts 😛

    6. Eyeshadow! Now that is my specialty. Eye shadow colors should always first be picked based on your skin and eye color. I have fair skin and dark brown eyes, so I like purples and dark greens but people with brown eyes are usually able to wear any color to bring out our eyes, so I just choose really based on the impression I am trying to make. I am assuming you have darker eyes since you are Latina (sorry if I offend anybody; of course if you’re mixed then maybe your eye color is different lol) so you and I would probably have the same color palettes available to us; however, I would start out with purples (refer to this site: since they look good on most skin tones.

    I hope these tips help you! Women are beautiful without the help of these things, but I know that sometimes we just need a little boost to our self-esteem! 😛

  137. finding my way said:

    Thanks for adding a bit of humor to some of our worry consuming problems. If it helps make you feel better, I think there are many woman with less knowledge than you. If I’m wrong, then at least you can feel comfortable knowing your not at the bottom of the class 🙂

    The smile you gave me, made up for some of my years as a womanly disabled woman.


  138. I would never get a brazillian wax! OUCH! I have a Wilkinson Sword Quattro Bikini Razor for Women & it’s a real charm 🙂

    As for waxing facial hairs – I wax my upper lip. It does make it a little puffy but it goes down after a few seconds & a dab of antiseptic helps.

    Hmm, foundation & powders – I use both, at the same time! I’ve only recently started getting into make-up myself, you learn what you need & don’t need through time.. It’s expensive!

    Maybe try a different mousse? Mine adds a bit of volume to my hair – but honestly, it doesn’t make that much difference. I’m considering playing around with some hairspray for when I curl my hair (something I’ve gotten into this last month!!!) to see if it holds it better.

    I’ve never been very good at any of these, I was a tomboy growing up so while all of my friends were experimenting with this stuff in high school, I had no interest whatsoever. Boy, do I wish I had now!

  139. Hi there!

    It was good to read your blog 🙂

    Yeah, those things are scary!!

    Eyeshadow for me is determined by the eye colour and not what I wear so it should be basic….

    Yes there is facial waxing and it leaves you red and a bit puffy afterwards but only for a couple of minutes or an hour…
    Bikini wax…only waxes the hair that would protrude from your bikini line…

    Well, I think liquid is best and you get a matt look in liquid. The reason for the outbreak would most likely be clogging of your pores…its not so much about what you put on but whether you remove the foundation before going to sleep…


  140. I brush teeth, shower, dress, and leave. I don’t even think I glance in the mirror. I think I must be the wrong kind or woman :(.

    I do put effort in clothing, but not my hair or makeup. I’m pretty plane Jane. Call me a wall flower.

  141. love this post.
    I too have the same kind of eyes as you. for eyeshadow – which i only wear when i go out, i use a very light pinky colour, silvery colours – makes your eyes look bigger/brighter – and if im wearing darker clothing (black etc) i use a browny colour. never put too much on! i dab it in, blow on it then apply.
    or sometimes if im being lazy or im in a rush, i apply glittery eye liner. i have a silver one but you can buy them in different colours. all of those seem to work for me. let me know how that goes.

    for the other 5 i am no use.
    – never had a bikini wax
    – dont have hair fingers or toes
    – no facial hair i can see
    – never used mousse despite having curlyish hair (i just brush it after a shower, scrunch when wet, and blow dry)

    – i never use foundation. (my nose sometimes gets shiny, but since exfoliating once or twice a week, the shine has gone. try just clensing, toning, moisturising and exfoliating this might work better if its just for greasy skin.) the exfoliator i use is for shine control – clean and clear is the brand i think.
    i just apply once or twice a week into my hand when in the shower. Massage into face, paying attention to my greasy areas (nose/chin) making sure i get in all the little places, and wash off under the shower head. your face feels INCREDIBLE after it. i love it. The only time i use my foundation is when i have a BRIGHT RED spot on my face. so i dab a little on it (instead of conceler(sp?))
    i sometimes use powder IF im in a rush to go out and i havent had another shower (due to the rush). but only apply to my greasy looking areas. and maybe a bit of bronzer under my cheek bones.

    hope that helps anyway 😀

  142. Congratulations on being featured on the FP.

    I have to admit that I never quite got the hang of this girlie stuff either – but I have learned a few things along the way.

    Good skin is partly due to genetics – but mainly due to protection against exposure to the sun. I rarely wear foundation – it makes my face itch – but I always, always, always wear a moisturiser with SPF and urge everyone to do likewise. It needn’t be expensive; cheaper brands do the job just as effectively. Put it on your neck too, and right down over your decolletage; the skin there is very thin and prone to sun damage and one can end up with crepey tissue around one’s cleavage in later years.

    If you find a good hairdresser, stick with them through thick and thin – and take their advice re appropriate hair products.

    Over here in the UK, a Brazilian wax removes everything except a landing strip or small triangle at the front. A Hollywood takes it all off – and a Bikini wax removes anything that might grow outside of the panty line. There’s also a high bikini wax – which would allow one to wear scantier underwear/bikini bottoms without any pubic hair revelations.
    I’ve been sporting a Brazilian for a year or so – my husband loves it! I would describe the process as uncomfortable, rather than painful – and no more embarrassing than having a cervical smear done. Professional waxers have seen it all; the good ones have an excellent ‘bedside manner’ and will put you at your ease very quickly.
    It can be a bit itchy as it grows in again, just for a few days – but this can be helped by daily used of a body-scrub in the shower.
    Personally, I wouldn’t go near my undercarriage with a razor. When I had my first baby, they shaved that area and it was unadulterated hell for weeks afterwards – rough, prickly and just plain nasty.

    Female waxing is as prone to changes in fashion as anything else. The latest thing over here is to retain a bit more hair at the front, so as to avoid looking like a young girl – or a porn star – but remove everything underneath and behind. There was a time when it was fashionable, in certain circles, to wear a merkin, or pubic wig. Not something I’ll be doing any time soon!

    • marinasleeps said:

      There should be a free class on how to do these kind of things. I would probably fail sooo … maybe never mind

  143. JUST ASK FOR A BIKINI WAX – AND NO MORE!! Bikini waxing is pretty tame, it’s honestly supposed to be just what would ‘show’ in a bikini….DON’T GET A BRAZILIAN! I was once asked to “roll over and spread (my) cheeks”. Seriously.

  144. Well, can’t help u wid any of those…… Just dropped in to say dat it was a very good post and that it’s really appreciable of you to accept ur ignorance about those facts…… And the pictures; they’re damn funny…..

  145. I say stay clueless – a natural look is prettier than one that’s bogged down with makeup and chemical goop. And you’ll save money. As for the peach fuzz… my mom got electrolysis.

  146. Yes some people do generally wax their faces (brunettes usually), either that or they use facial bleach. I agree with the mousse issue though, what exactly is it meant to be for? Most of the answers to your questions can be found on google but I am still not sure about the mousse one.

    Just as a side note – I have noticed that a lot of asian* girls do not shave their legs, maybe we should give it all up and follow suit.

    *Both in Asia and Europe

  147. I’m right there with ya. Seems like a lot of work! When I was a teenager my grandparents took me to have a makeover. The lady showed me how to apply all sorts of makeup and make my eyes just POP. I immediately went to the bathroom afterwords and wiped it off! If I wear makeup now, it’s only mascara. I really appreciate makeup on other people! Then the hair…it’s long, straight, and boring. I’ve tried doing what my stylist taught me, but who has the time! What I really want is curly hair but would I even know what to do with it? As for the bikini line, my experiment with an at home kit did nothing for my hair but you should have seen the carpet! I really had to pay for that. I have a swimsuit with shorts now. Sometimes I look at a gorgeous woman and think “Man, I wish I could do that,” and then I come to my senses and remember how much I love my simpler routine.

  148. popular button said:

    Sometimes you can click for nothing!

  149. 1. Hair mousse is a hair styling product that is dispensed in an aerosol foam spray. Hair mousse adds volume to hair and often provides both conditioning and hold. One of the lighter weight hair styling products, hair mousse is applied to wet hair before drying and styling. Hair mousse may also be referred to as styling foam.
    As a versatile hair styling product, hair mousse is a popular choice for both short and long hairstyles. When hair mousse is applied to wet hair that is allowed to air dry, the hair is often left with a “wet” look that can be “crunchy” feeling, but unlike hair gel, hair mousse combs out easily for a softer look. When hair mousse is applied to wet hair that is dried with a hair dryer, it provides additional volume and hold.
    2. Foundation.. It really depends on your skin. Truth is, most females only use this on their skin if they have acne they wish to hide. If that is your case, then only apply what is needed, after making sure your face is clean.
    3. Waxing. I personally think females that do this just want pure pain. Bikini waxing is to costly, and a simple waste of time. There are many other products you can use that are made for that area, along with keeping the hair away for a week or so at a time.
    4. Facial Hair. That goes hand in hand with my above statement. There are products such as nair, etc that makes things for that purpose as well. Its painless and cheaper, much cheaper than professional waxing.
    5. Hair on your toes. That is something you cant control, obviously so its not gross as you make it seem. Just continue to do what you do by shaving it off. No one will know you do that unless you tell them.
    6. As for eye shadow, you don’t want to wear the oddest colors with your outfit. Example, if you are wearing a brown dress, don’t wear some bright yellow eye make up. As long as its subtle and matches you are fine. Stick with lighter colors.

    –I hope I helped some.. I’m of the younger persuasion so I understand and can answer your questions.

  150. I go out of town and 20 min later you’re freshly pressed?!?!??! Congrats, toots – couldn’t have happened to a better blogger!


    • marinasleeps said:

      Aww you think so … shucks I’m speechless. Hey man, hell freezed over! Snow ball fight with Hitler!!!

  151. Sigh…ok hair mousse…i have some but i never use it. i use it to hold the curl in my hair because as yo know its super straight however the mousse doesn’t hold it either so its pretty much useless to me. I just bought some foundation its a cream to powder I like that one a lot i bought it from avon i have only used it for a couple of days and i like it. OMG don’t wax its uber painful i tried my legs once and that was some pain none of this ” you’ll get used to it” crap. I’ll never ever wax again. NEVER EVER!!!!! Lol! I can only imagine how much more painful it is on the unmentionables……Facial hair, everyone has peach fuzz thats normal it protects your skin from small dirt particles. Hair on the toes ya i shave them too….lol I seriuosly thought i was the only one who had that lol that and cave men lol…..eyeshadows,,,o dear god i soooo need help on that. i thought you were supposed to match…my mom always told me not too because if you recall she was a Mary Kay lady and her makeup was always beautiful but no i never listened as i type this i am wearing a pink shirt with light pink eyeshadow….maybe my mom does know a thing or two lol ima listen to her now lol however, you don’t need makeup for as long as I’ve known you you hardly ever makeup only eyeliner and even then i cant remember you putting any on. i think u would were them to the conventions and to your graduation party but other thatn that i dont remember you wearing makeup. if i could go back and be a u natural, I totally would ugh its a pain in the ass sometimes to have to wear makeup. I think your beautiful the way you are. Gus fell in love with you without makeup so why change it now? Again, you’re beautiful the way you are.

    • joahnadiyosa said:

      and to add to that, wearing make-ups really takes soooo much time! and everyday, we get too wary what and how to look like. eventually and sadly, we end up very uncomfortable and disappointed that we cannot look like what we thought we want to be. 😦

      stay as natural as you are—pretty and cool, i say 🙂

  152. =D LOL. I love this post partially because of the pictures and partially because it’s so honest.
    Actually I don’t know anything about foundation or eyeshadows or anything make up related. =D I know it’s just weird. I’m 18 and I should KNOW that! But I don’t . Anyhow…about the waxing bit. =D I never had a brazilian before (the thoughts of exposing myself and then having the hair wrenched out of sensitive parts creep me out) It hurt so much the first time I had my legs and arms done and the second and third. =D but after awhile, the pain lessens and you don’t feel that so much the 5th time. PLUS smooth legs and arms!!!
    P.S: nah you’re not a monster. =D I have hair on my toes and fingers. =/ which I constantly try to wax off. (That part DOESNOT hurt)

  153. This post really made me laugh. The bit about mousse, hahaa. I hate mousse its the most pointless things ever. People say awww its for volume. Backcomb your hair for volume. Mousse is makes your hair feel like your heads been sicks.

    Really good blog. It made me LOL

  154. Those of us with olive complexions can get away with bleaching facial hair- although coarser stubborn ones sometimes need to be plucked. If you go to a drug store and look with the waxes and Nair and such you will find facial hair bleach. It takes about 10 minutes, and lasts a few weeks. I like Sally Hansen Facial Bleach- it will tingle a bit, but I don’t get any strange color reactions.

    Mousse generally works best with fine frizzy hair that should curl but won’t hold onto it. If that was a picture of how much you were using… way too much. General rule of thumb- flip your hair upside down and “scrunch” the mousse in. Then flip back- your hair will feel gross and the curls will be stiff- you kind of learn not to run your fingers through it…

    WAY too afraid of wax to comment- but whatever you do, DON’T try to do it yourself.

  155. Great Post! This post really made my day. I actually read the post twice and still can’t help but laugh my lungs out.

  156. and i could add a hundred more doubts!

    • marinasleeps said:

      Me too. I went over the list with my husband. He knew a lot of my answers! I felt great!

  157. sherrel28 said:

    nice…..pretty funny one of the best blog i’ve ever seen………not like myfriends boringgggggggg one

  158. Great Post !!

  159. curiouseeker said:

    LOVED it:)

  160. Excellent article, Just forwarded this on to a friend who read up on this and she took me to a movie after I forwarded her this site. So, Thanks!!

  161. Greetings from a keen reader! Well, there have been many blogs which I have pondered over today yet not one of them comes close to this. Congratulations! And I want you to know that my mates think me very critical therefore that is massive praise indeed!

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  165. To be honest, I think all of these ‘things women are susposed to do’ are a bunch of BS. You should be doing what you feel comfortable with and nothing more.. We are not defined by the hair products we use or the make we plaster on our faces. Personally, I do where make up but no foundation or powder; i’m with you, it makes me break out! I work in the insurance world and i have to be business appropriate. I where a little eye shadow to highlight my eye just in the outside corner. Also, for me eye liner is a must and just a little mascara to perk up my lashes. Other than that i just don’t see the point in putting a bunch of gunk in my hair that’s going to do more harm than good. Moose is something i never under stood. I use a little hair spray now and then to hold my curls but thats it. These products are to expensive and seemingly point less. My moto is less = more. Dont hide your true beauty behind layers of junk, you just dont need. Let you skin breath and your hair blow in the wind. Be you and dont let celebrities changed how you think a women should look. How to say there are right any way? Hope this helps.

    • marinasleeps said:

      You’re right. Just what we deem is needed. Not what other people dictate what we should wear.

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