I have this one curse… that someone evil (like my mother…kidding!) put on me. I am cursed with an awesome, one of a kind, memory. I remember the most mundane, pointless things. I can name every teacher I had in elementary, middle, and high school. Yikes. I remember little memories of being a small kid. I can remember kids in my elementary class. All of them. Boys I had crushes on in kinder. I can be grocery shopping or doing anything out and about and I will see someone and I will remember their face from some where in my past. It’s a curse to remember people who you may have met once or knew in kindergarten together. It either goes two ways:
I see a person that I recognize from somewhere. My brilliant brain stops working, the wheels are not in motion, and I know them from somewhere and I can’t place how. It will basically ruin my day. And then at night, when I am fast asleep,tucked in under Sandman’s spell, I then BOLT up and remember, “Oh that was that annoying lady from the time I worked at Eye World. Why would I remember her?”
Or, I can remember them and for some reason in my twisted world I think they gotta remember me. I mean, come on, I have been impressionable since I was 3. Not 2 or 1, but at the age 3, I learned to smile and twirl. I was ever so cute. So I approach them, ” Hi, Dragster? Remember me, Marina?”
Him: Um no.
Me:We went to school together.
Him: Oh. High School?
Me: No no. We were in kinder together. I remember you cause I used to have this mad crush on you and …
… and this is where he slowly backs away and runs. Cause what freak remembers Kinder? Right? Wrong! Kinder was awesome with the kitchen, and finger painting. Your crazy NOT to remember it!
But I have learned not to approach people. It’s hard to expect them to have a brain like mine. My memory skills are the shiznit! My memory, truth be told, even embarrasses me. My memory has not helped my coolness. In middle school, my coolness was hanging by a thread. And when a new kid started attending there, I knew him from a time before.
My family used to live in these apartments when I was like 8. Our neighbor was this cute boy who even than I knew was very cool. His name was Eric (God I am so cursed!) and he used to like me. And alas I liked him. So I figured since we shared this memory (for godsakes, we used to neighbors and he liked me!) I knew he had to know me. So I went up to him. He had changed a lot. He was very tall, even better looking then before, and girls were hovering around him.
I reminded him about living next to him. And he gave me this “look” but I guess he could see how pathetic I stayed. He was nice and he said he remembered me. But after that, he never talked to me again. What made me think memories at 8 years old would be gold? I don’t know either.
My memory=My life long tribulation!
And the whole reason I am talking about my painful curse that basically labels me as a freak is because of the date. August 12. It’s the birthday of a girl who had been my best friend since I was 4 years old. And we did all these crazy rebellious things together as we grew up. Lili was her name. And then right before I got married (around this time we weren’t so close) she moved to Austin. And now that I want too so bad, there is no way I can track her down. I wish I didn’t remember her birthday and miss her like I do. She was like a sister to me. I just wish I didn’t remember cause I know she is not remembering me.