In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Noteworthy Thoughts

I think people should give bicyclists awards. These people participate in a  hobby that just might kill them! 

I mean who does that? I almost ran over a bicyclist yesterday on my way home from work.  He was sticking out of his lane onto mine and even though I was going a mere 45 miles an hr, I am sure his whole charade would have been totaled. The honest truth is people don’t know what to make of cyclists. Are they even suppose to be apart of car traffic? What about those bicycle lanes? I mean I will have to drive through one to turn on this street? And what’s with the fancy get-up? I understand the helmet but what about the skin-tight aqua green clothes? Is it really for people to notice a bicycle rider on the road or are you just trying to show off your body with 0 and I mean 0 body fat. Thanks bicyclists! If I didn’t feel fat sitting in this car before, I certainly do now! On second thought, forget bicyclists. No awards for you! You smug arrogant fools who think you own the road. Next time, I just might give your back tire a tap!

I read an Aladdin book to the girls the other night. If I had a genie, I probably wouldn’t use him correctly as other would. I wouldn’t ask for like  a million dollars right away. Maybe in small increments. Cause you never know, the government might get suspicious. 

 I would ask for dumb things that are actually really important to me. For instance, I have an obsession with getting to work on time. And it’s not what you think. I am not trying to get ahead (HONEST!) or impress the boss. I just like being on time. I have an obsession with time! And now that I am dropping off my daughter at school, I am not the early bird no longer. So right after I hug my daughter and watch her line up with her class, I would then have my genie POOF! me to my job. Not only would I be insanely on time (so much I would laugh my evil ass laugh), but I would avoid the morning dumbasses that piss me off in them morning.  The ones who think the left is the cruising lane! Yeah, you know who you. Lady with the big hair do in the tan mini van! Mini vans should not even be allowed on the freeway. Only the suburbs! I am getting sidetracked. Back to my genie. Furthermore, to  either promote or extinguish my paranoia, I would like my genie to make me invisible when need be. Have you ever got the feeling your being talked about? I do. A lot! I know I am weird, awkward, and I do silly things like fall while standing up (bad ankles ya”ll!). And that might cause others to, well, talk about me. How wonderful then would it be to become invisible and listen to what they are saying? And then I would have my genie magically provide me with some Xanex cause after listening to people talk about me. I know I might need it.

You know whats wonderful? When you find an old CD you made when you were a kid of such awesome songs. I did that yesterday. I was jamming out on the way home. Then my favorite song came on. I was so happy. But at this point, I must have reached the point where the CD was badly scratched and the whole song sounded chopped up. I just threw the CD out the window. That actually sucked.

Here is a question: What happens to abandoned cars on the roadway? Do they go to heaven? Do they go to a foster family? Or do they get sent back to the county they came from?

The road I drive to and from work is a desolate road for about 30 mins. There are no stores or gas stations. It’s just desert for what feels like forever. And once you are on it, there is no going back. You must continue on your journey. And every day, I kid you not there are new cars left abandoned. I know some get a flat tire, run out of gas, or even break down. But how do you forget your car?! I would probably choose to die with my big baby. I mean first off, I would have no choice but to stay with it. It’s got a sweet magna flow system  and a Bose stereo system that my husband would definitely want me to protect with my life. People might try to ransack it for all its worth. For god sake people, the leather seats have a heating system! I would wait there with it for as long as it took. In the hot sun, rain, and snow. “Tahoe,” I would say, “you’re an American SUV. You are gonna make it! Don’t give up. We will get out this jam somehow!”

And I would do this….  til I got hungry. Then I would have no choice but then to leave. Cause no one likes a hungry bitch. It’s just  common knowledge.

Advertisements

Comments on: "Noteworthy Thoughts" (7)

  1. LOL you’re funny Marina! I love your insight on things.I often wonder what I would do with a genie…..or magic tricks…..i would love to have magic tricks all the things i could do. Oh, I started reading one the blogs you follow…52 Seductions…it’s pretty damn interesting. I’m addicted to this thing now. It’s pretty crazy

    • marinasleeps said:

      Cool. And thanks. You should also read Living Shallow Living Well and the Bloggess. And girlnormal. Those are extremely hilarious. 52 seducations is aswesome huh? 52 seducations is the one to turn to me onto these other blogs.

  2. This post is hilarious! I saw your blog on Freshly Pressed. It’s definitely my favorite of the day, thanks for an entertaining read! -Liz

  3. What do you think about driving cars, which are responsible for 80% of all respiratory diseases deaths? That is around… lets say… at least 50 people per day in the United States.
    But you still think cyclists are dumb for doing something that could kill them, right?

    Remember that cyclists usually don’t die just by crashing their bikes. Instead, they usually die after being hit and smashed by cars (driven by somebody else!).

    And the tight clothing? Yeah! They are definetly the most confortable while riding a bike. The zero body fat comes with time. That’s what happens when you exercise. Just like cycling. But no! You’d rather get super fat having a cheeseburger and a milkshake while driving and than feel jealous of healthy people.

    Also, why thinking streets belongs to cars just as bikelanes belongs to bikes?
    I believe you must know traffic laws in order to get your driver’s license. But just in case, let me refresh your memory by telling you that bikes are transport vehicles just like cars. With benefits.
    Cyclists not only are allowed to be on the roads, as well as they have the preference over all the other vehicles, once they are the smallest ones. Cyclists must only yield to pedestrians.
    You, riding your fat-ass leather seats machine (or any other motor-powered transport) must yield to all cyclists, and keep a distance of at least 2 yards when passing.

    I could stay here all night long, but I gotta wake up at 6am.

    Hope to see you cycling someday! Maybe you’ll turn into a famous fat bottom girl, just like the ones Freddie Mercury described on the song “Bycicle Race”, by Queen.

    Cheers!
    Henrique.

    • marinasleeps said:

      Hey I am bike lover. I amj just saying their are brave people cause people panic when they are out driving about. The rest, well hell, that was my attempt at sarcasm.

  4. It’s not a good idea for bicyclists to make the person driving in the car feel like they’re fat… and I feel the same way, I play a game where I try to see if they have an ounce of fat. I’ve never won that game.

    But, they’re like sitting ducks out there, you’re right we don’t know quite what to do with them sharing the road. And I’m the same way, I have to arrive to work not even just on time but way before I need to be there. I feel so much better when I’m on time, I literally freak out if I’m close to being late, which never happens pretty much.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: