In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Posts tagged ‘Family’

The Art of Catching Some Zzzzz’s

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Being a mother is extremely demanding. Somehow you are the first one up and the last one to bed. You are always extremely tired and can be found falling asleep as you practice reading with your daughter. You anxiously await the anticipated bed time where you can snuggle in your sheets, lay your head on your puffed up pillow and fall gracefully to sleep the way princesses do in movies.

However is that really the case?

I can be falling asleep on the way home from work, on the couch, the dinning table, even as you move about assembling the essentials for the next day. However, as soon as I lay in bed, it gets COMPLICATED!!

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Ideally I want to lay on my back. If I position my pillows just right, both my shoulders properly proportioned equally on the pillow will make for a nice restful sleep. See, this is the type of Science they should be teaching in school. The physics of perfectly aligned shoulders.

But still, I can’t fall asleep. This is not the position I am used too! You see, we recently got my baby boy to stop sleeping with us. When he was a baby, we messed up by putting him in the bed with us all because we wanted an extra few hours of sleep during feedings and diaper changings.

SO SUE US!

Then he just grew super fast and pretty soon I was the one hanging off the edge. Everyone morning, my shoulders would ache because I was forced to sleep on my side all night!

So we moved him into his room. Then we felt guilty and I was cold. So there he went back into our bed. T-ball started for him. He then decided that he was a big boy and could not sleep with us. So there he went back to his bed in his room. I was sad. I missed him. But my shoulders didn’t. In one night I was cured and could never go back to the old way again.

But like all great things, the season ended as well as Ryan’s desire to be a big boy. We couldn’t get him to stay the night in his room. Finally, it donned on us to bring his bed into our room. So we did that… and we have our bed back. Hopefully, we will have our room back.

Sigh….

So I lay there fully enjoying the arms space I have. I now have the power to roll up in a little ball, spread out like an X and even sleep side ways. The possibilities are endless! But I just ache for comfort and want to fully enjoy the space laying on my back.

Still, it doesn’t feel comfortable. What do I do with these arms of mine? Do I cross them over my chest like Wednesday from The Adams Family?

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No that’s weird and uncomfortable. Imagine if I died like that… the medics will think I am  some kind of witch or satanic sleeper.

I finally give up and just roll on my right side like always. I curl my legs up practically in my body and relax. Hopefully, I will just know to change it up in the middle of the night.

Then I start to feel something uncomfortable.

My ankles are touching each other and it’s driving me CRAZY!! My knees are boney and rubbing against each other! If I spread my legs that feels foreign… uhhhhhhhhhh!!!

I just wanna sleep!! I finally just roll over on my stomach and hope the smothering of my face in the pillow will be enough to knock me unconscious!

What is that my feet are hitting?!?!

Ryan is now sleeping horizontally on the edge of our bed!!!!

Happy Birthday My Little Princess

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Today my little baby girl, Sienna O’ren Sanchez is 6.

At 5, you learned to tie your own shoe. You refused for me to make your lunch and just let me suggest and supervise what you put in your lunch box. You became grandpa’s nurse, grandma’s best match, the neutral and judge free person of the chaos of kids in the house.

You stand before bullies unafraid.  You aren’t afraid to state your opinion. You are daddy’s little girl but because you and I are so the same. You are strong physically and mentally. You are the only kid I know that can do 25 push-ups correctly. You are so helpful, so full of common sense that you wow me. You are a hard worker and extremely smart.

You smell like sweet bread all the time. The blankie we call Pillow that you carry around and sucking your thumb remind us that you are still very little, and give us glimpses that you are still out sweet baby girl. I love how you demand your naps, you are my movie buddy and your fierceness is something even I can envy.

I don’t know where you came from… well I know but what I am referring to is your spirit. You are only 6 but you have done, said and become so much. You are a born leader but you are kind sweet and extremely strong.

The truth is there will never be another girl like you. Never! You are so special and so rare. You are the love of my life. You are loved and cherished by your daddy, uncles, aunts, grandma, grandpas, friends, brothers, sister and so much by me. I met you first! Don’t forget!

I love you princess. Don’t change!  Keep marching to the beat of your own drum.

I love always and forever. For as long as I am living my baby you will be!

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Mama Did A Bad Bad Thing

Overall, my Christmas and New Years was good. My department at my company shuts down forcing us to take the two weeks. They never have to twist my arm about it.

The only thing that was really bad this holiday season was all the sickness. A few days before Christmas I got a cold and my daughter did as well. My cold lasted all the way til Christmas. During those days each one of my children got fever, sore throats, the works. Then once everyone got it, my kids got the stomach flu a few days before New Years. One by one, family members were dropping like flies.  In fact, my hubby was basically unconscious for two days. He got the combo: flu and stomach flu.  I was the only one who didn’t get the stomach flu. According to the hubs, I did.

I started to feel sick Thursday evening. I immediately was worried cause I am wuss when it comes to throwing up or anything stomach related.  I was feeling so queasy I retired early to bed. Sometime in the middle night I up-chucked! It was horrible. It always is. My hubs comforted me  afterwards that it was just the stomach flu.

However, as soon as I threw up I immediately felt better. Like instantly. I didn’t feel horrible or dizzy or any of the other symptoms my husband was assuring would soon follow.

So what did I do?

I milked it…. yep, the entire day. I slept the entire day. My hubby was so nice, and comforting bringing me whatever I asked for.  Every time he would come in I would act groggy which I was from sleeping all day.  He even made dinner.

I have always wanted to sleep all day. I miss sleep. Sleep has become the holy grail for me.  And obviously, I needed it cause I slept the entire day. And when I got bored because people stopped checking on me or paying attention to me, I limped downstairs and ate dinner like at 6pm.

Do I feel bad?

Not really….. I mean. I did throw up. Thats pretty hardcore. It shakes you to your very core.

Hmm, why am I feeling judgment from you all. Do I have to quote Ferris Bueller??? I basically am Ferris Bueller… just the mommy/wife version. Where is that movie??

Wait…. it would just be a movie about someone sleeping huh?

My Life in 300 Words or Less

This is not going to about the election, who to vote for, or who I am voting for or whatever.

I know how I feel and that’s all I care about.

Plus it gets annoying.  Annoying is the people who swear the world is going to end if Obama wins. Shut the fuck up people. Tomorrow the sun will rise as it will the next day, the next day, and the next day.
And it doesn’t even matter you guys, the world is gonna end on December 21st anyway. Vote Mayan!!!

So back to what I originally was gonna post … I darn near forgot!

So here are something I have been thinking about in bullet point form. Feel free to discuss our organized and professional I am amongst yourselves.

  • It sucks to not have TV!! We have to wait a whole week for them to come out and align us with the sun or something like that. So I am depressed. I am missing my shows, football, my kids watching their cartoons and following me around asking for everything!  DIRECTV you have failed me!!!
  • Stop talking about the Walking Dead… I missed it!! God damn you Americans!!!
  • I may have to start clipping coupons. I need to save money. That or get a second job. Is anyone hiring?
  • Greatest singer ever: R Kelly. That guy can sing about anything. Sex, love, closets. Food for thought people.
  • Speaking of food…. I wish I had tamales.
  • I won tickets on my local and favorite radio show to go see Eddie Vedder!!! Yep Eddie Vedder… the singer of Pearl Jam. However, there is no Pearl Jam band anymore. It’s just Eddie Vedder with a ukulele. Hmmmm, unsure about this.

 

So there you have it. My life in 300 words or less.

12 Monkeys but for Kids

Remember this movie?

It was crazy… about crazy people doing and acting crazy. You know in a nutshell.

The reason I bring this up is because last week I took a week vacation. And in the week I got acquainted with my kids cartoons. There are some demented kid shows out there.

Take for instance, and I know I have mentioned this one before,  but Yo Gabba Gabba is one weird ass show.

I figure this one is geared for really really small kids with songs like Don’t Bite Your Friends.  However, my kids have never bit anyone before so now I don’t know if I am a good parent or Yo Gabba Gabba is. When ever I watch it, I wonder if this is what the 60′s were like with all the swirly colors, big shapes, and mythical creatures dancing around.

Man I was totally born in the wrong era!!

It also bothers me how skinny DJ Lance is!! He is straw-thin and he looks like he could bend and contort his body in weird ways. He seriously scares me!!

Quick someone get this guy a buttery greasy steak!!

The second is Dino Dan.

This show is about a boy who loves dinosaurs. He is the only one who can see live dinosaurs walking around his town and he also uncovers clues about the past and secrets of the dinosaurs.

Doesn’t sound too bad right?

WRONG!

This kid psycho!! All he talks about is dinosaurs!! He is not a normal kid. When his child hood friends are playing tag, being kids, having fun, enjoying their youth, Dan is looking at a picture book of dinosaurs.

I would have had my kid checked!

He is gym and running track. His coach wants to talk to him about running and Dan breaks out about how this dinosaur ran and how fast he was. That’s nice Dan but we are talking about you and running!!

Another time, he is class and his teacher is instructing the class and he just rudely interrupts her to talk about dinosaurs. Then the class starts talking and the teacher is spent trying to get the class to listen to her but she can’t because this show isn’t about respect or paying attention in class. No, it’s about this boy and is obsession with dinosaurs!!

ARE YOU SERIOUS????

Does anyone else see whats wrong with this?!?!?!

I have a few issues with other cartoons. Handy Mandy can have a bit more of a personality if you ask me. Oso Special can actually do some actual saving instead of trying to help a kid find something for show and tell.

Kid shows are weird. Then again, my kids watch them so maybe my kids are weird.

I guess I will worry when my kids start dancing and tripping on colors and imaging prehistoric creatures.

I am not looking forward to that doctor bill.

Happy Birthday to My Daughter: You are the reason I am a mother

Dear Savannah,

 

Today is your birthday.

Today 7 years ago, you made me a mommy. I remember how little your were when they placed you on the chest. The very first thing I noticed was how red and full your baby lips were. As I studied your little body, every baby body part was pink.

It reminded me of how Homer from The Odyssey described the  sunrise and little pink baby fingers that crept over the horizon.

It was at that moment  I felt I was asleep for all the previous years and was finally awake.
It wasn’t until that very moment that I realized I was a mother, thanks to you.

So in reality you have given me the very best gift possible.

I feel as it was just yesterday that I was hauling your car seat around. I remember going to stores and looking at your face and seeing you smile at me filled me with love.

I remember thinking at the very moment you are my very best friend. I couldn’t wait for you to walk. I couldn’t wait to hold your hand and lead you places.

And now you are in second grade. You now are leading me. You want to join cheerleading. You want to be famous singer/actress and a principal. You have the most admirable love for animals.  Seeing you cry at movies moves me because its so clear that you wear your heart on your sleeve much like your mother. And as a big sister, your sister and brother look up to you like they should.

I love you, I love Sienna and I love Ryan all equally but differently. You guys are my babies!!  However you, Savannah, are the moment that started it all for me.

I realize too that I am hard you at times. Just know that I love you and that I know you better than you know yourself. How?

Because I was you, and I felt the way you did about things and the way you talk about things reminds me of me. I want the very best for you. I want to push you to be the very best you. I want you to succeed and be happy. In the end it’s not about being famous; you are already famous to me and Daddy! You are more than we could ever ask for!!

“To the world
You may be just another girl
But to me
Baby, you are the world”

I love you NaNa!!

Happy Birthday!!

Completely Freaking & Stressing Out but in a good way

My daughter (6-year-old) wanted to join her school’s track team. So we went to a few practices and she really liked it.

They separate the grades into groups. She is a first grader so she trains with Pre-Kinder and the Kindergartners.

Eventually I got involved. I became a coach. I was excited because I got to spend even more time with my daughter. I also got to meet an awesome group of kids. Kids that absolutely fell in love with. Kids that motivated me.

My daughter took off with track. She was better than we could imagine. And she loved it. All the kids did actually.

After hundreds of practices and several track and field meets, we finally come down to the day before our “Olympics”.

I am completely freaking out. I am. It’s awesome that are kids are doing so well and placing but it’s still scary because we will be in a high school stadium tomorrow. It is the real thing. I am just so full of anxiety.

 I don’t think our kids will do bad. Right now in our district we are first place. I think I am just scared and excited like the way you feel when you are about to bungee jump.

We will do well. Our kids are excellent. And this is just start for many more competitions to start.

So here’s to the  Helen Ball Dalmatians.

I Hang My Head In Shame

So yesterday I took a vacation day from work.

My husband and I went to my daughters’ award  assembly. She got the terrific kid award which I think is the equivalent to an employee of the month.

I asked her if she got any bonuses, extra benefits, a raise and she told me she received two pencils, a sticker, and a hug.  Wow, she is going to make a perfect candidate working for Wal-Mart!!!

I kid!! Hopefully its Target she works for. Who doesn’t like Target?!?!

After that, it was breakfast, running errands, taking all my kids to the dentist which is very exhausting.

I hate going to the dentist probably more than my kids do.

If you ever wanna feel like a shitty parent, feel like you couldn’t possibly hit bottom, by all means go the dentist.

Two of my kids had cavities so they got fillings.  Man the entire time, this one guy was talking shit to me. THE ENTIRE TIME!!

They brush every day people!! I swear it!! They don’t even eat candy. Ask them!! They always ask if they can have some, and I always say no.

I don’t have a sweet tooth so whether or not they do, they don’t get shit!

My kids are guilty of drinking a lot of juices. That’s my fault. I honestly didn’t realize that it was so bad.

Yes! Slap me!

But god damn, this one dentist was giving it to me hard! Hard!

I told him I understand. I will limit the juices, they won’t have any sweets til October.

I could not get out there quicker.

The next time I go there, if someone makes a comment again, I think I am gonna pick my kid and walk out and take my business somewhere else.

Dude what is up with that?!?!

I remember going to the ER and the nurse drilling me how my daughter got hurt.  Simple. She was climbing a tree and fell. A tree that she has climbed over a hundred times.

Am I not suppose to let them play or be kids?

She was probing my daughter because she couldn’t exactly ask if mommy hurts her. She did let her know that this is a safe place and she could say anything here and nothing bad was going to happen to her.

What!??!

Nothing was even broken. I took her to make sure she was fine  and didn’t have a concussion. I remember my daughter even getting annoyed, stopping with the nurse in the room asking me why she keeps asking her over and over. She fell off a tree enough said.

I understand that there are certain things they have to ask but do they have probe and basically make you feel like you scum of the earth because your kid had stains on a back tooth or because she was playing in a tree.

Ughhhhhhhhh, I am frustrated now because I am sure 75% of the time, a parent is a good parent. Nurturing, loving, careful. However, don’t you have to let your kids be kids?

And because I am sensitive as fuck, this shit is going to be bothering me for a least a week.

After that, we took the kids to a nice dinner of their choice for Savannah’s award.

All in all, it was a great day.

And that is why there is no Thursday movie review today.

I also got two pair of shoes.

Score!!!

I yearn for… for …. for zombies….

During these wonderful holidays  family visited often and I was able to trick some of my family members.

One family member reported that they ran across an article online of a case involving rabies somewhere in the south. It was the first rabies account on a  human in many years. I have no idea why the hell she told us girls that. Maybe to fill the awkward silences of conversations, I don’t know. I mean you only can only complain about men for so long

So I turned around all stone faced and told my sister-in-law and her sister that this was indeed serious.

I said, “Every one knows that if the rabies virus isn’t taken care of, humans can become zombies. Flesh eating monsters are no joke!”

I expected to get a laugh outta that… cause I am such a jokester.

Alas, their mouths hung open and they stared at me. After awhile, they started to reason that it was true!!!

One said,” Well yea that’s true. Dogs wanna attack and eat human flesh. (HUH??) They foam at the mouth, their eyes turn red (What??? Zombies not vampires!!), and they are extremely angry!”

Angry?

I wouldn’t call a zombie angry. I would a call a zombie more carnivorous, leaning toward ‘I am so hungry, I can eat a horse’ hungry!

Actually more like a pregnant woman as soon as she wakes up. If she doesn’t eat in the next five minutes, the mother fucking house is gonna burn down!!

You know what I am talking about. There were times I remember I was so hungry and when the anger was rising up, I swear I spit fire!

Zombies are not pist off. They don’t have daddy issues;  their jobs don’t suck because there is no corporate ladder to climb as a zombie. They are dead!!! Oh excuse me…. they are the undead. Dead but not quite. Like 50/50.

Animals that have rabies aren’t dead!! They aren’t the undead coming back to life. Its an infection in the brain!! And the end result is that rabies kill!

 Fatality!!!

I watch these girls continue the conversation without me talking about how becoming a zombie is so possible now.

 What the fuck!! I mean… normally I would  jump on any bandwagon that included zombies especially if it meant it was now more than ever of great importance to use my entire credit card to purchase the badass 1911 pistol.

 Fuck the credit card because we are all gonna die anyway.

 However, even I know (sadly) that zombies don’t exist. And rabies are not the starting point.

Or is it….

No no it’s just not possible. It has to be man-made! Fuck!! We can’t even cure zits how the hell we gonna make a zombie virus!!!

I mentioned this whole conversation later to the hubs. He couldn’t believe that I actually said someone needed to create this zombie virus. He asked if I was some kind of monster or something.  Zombie? No! Monster? Maybe.

Sigh….

A zombie apocalypse is just what we need. It would certain liven 2012 up. How many of us would be forced on a exercise plan in order to flee from zombie. America would no longer be the fat country of the world!

 Just imagine eating flesh, brain eating, moaning, dancing the Thriller dance….

I need something til Walking Dead comes back on.

 

Truth Is … I Don’t Know What the Truth Is

Besides the wonderful day of Thanksgiving, my sister’s wedding was also this past week. How many times have I mentioned that here? None. I know I haven’t mentioned it on here at all. I really don’t know why. Maybe it was to NOT deal with it and NOT think about it. Because the very thought of it makes me wanna cry.

My sister and I were extremely close when we were little. She was my best friend and we did everything together. I was the oldest and I willingly and almost begged her to come with me everywhere. She knows all my dark secrets, things we don’t speak of , things we just smile about, and things we are embarrassed we did. She was the baby in the house and she was rightly treated as one.  Her and I were and still are so different.

So as the process  to planning her wedding went,  the more and more uncomfortable I got about it. I really started to pretend it was not happening. Truth is, we weren’t as close after I got married. I think in ways I think she felt I betrayed her. See, I married someone who wasn’t the same religion as my parents and my sister. So thus I created this wedge. However, I tried to make it work. I was constantly calling her, constantly asking her to do things with me, but she was pulling away.

After a while she grew up, she started her rebellious stage, had boyfriends, partied, and then finally got in engage. And on the day before her wedding, I was swept away with this wave emotion. She doesn’t need me anymore nor does she want too. I have this strong feeling that the cords have been cut. Truth is, I really haven’t felt I was important to her and she was to me. And now she and her husband plan to move away. I feel like I am losing her.

Friday I did.

I cried when she danced with my dad. It was because she is gone. She is no longer ours, she is his. And instead of growing up with me, she is going to go a different path. A different path that I can’t follow.

I was so depressed and emotionally all weekend. Gus kept asking me why I was sad, I couldn’t explain it. Am I happy for her? In a way. When I left the wedding reception, I went to hug my new brother-in-law, and I told him that I loved my sister and I welcome him to the family.  What I really wanted to tell him was if he hurts my sister in any way I will cut his balls off. He didn’t deserve my sister and I wished he would just give her back.

There are things at the wedding and even during the week that I just wanted to express to say to my sister. Things that she should have known already. Things that she could read in my voice but just ignored.Things that if I had said would not have mattered.

Even with her pushing me away for whatever reason, I don’t hate her. I want too. It would be easier. I just can’t. I want to mad at her for telling me she had no time for me, or for saying mean things behind my back about my money situation, the way I raise my kids, or even just me in general. But I can’t.

Why do I need her? She doesn’t need me. She never has.

The truth is, I can’t explain these feelings. I can’t the lump in my throat. I can’t explain the anger. I can’t explain that for the first time ever she actually left me behind.

Why can’t we just be sisters?

 

 

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