In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Archive for the ‘Retarded Me’ Category

While You Were Partying/Getting Hammered/Looking for Nick Stahl, I Was Digging Up Some News

Actually that it a lie. I was truthfully looking for Nick Stahl too. Seriously… how does a celebrity become “missing”? Anyways…. this weekend was popping with news. Popping I tell you! Did you know that Obama knows a lot about the Kardashians? That is my kinda president. He has knowledge a bit of everywhere.   [...]

How To Be Really Annoying At Work

I, MarinaSleeps, have tested the boundaries and limits of my co-workers. I almost led them to going postal… on me. YeahI did that! I got on people’s’ nerves! And you can do it to. Just follow my free easy steps and I will assure you that you will be on your way to being the [...]

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

This list was not created by… sadly… but I discovered it… so that means something right. HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.” Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.” [...]

The Best Present In The World (my kids are so jealous!!)

The year was 1995. I was about to turn to 10 years old.  I was flying high…. on life people… stay with me!!! I had just learned that my local radio station would be giving out the newly released VHS copy of the Lion King. You guys at the time… I was obsessed with the [...]

Wedgies Are Cool Again

Things I Noticed: Who names their child Bar?! The Irish??!!  Bar is actually playing by herself. WHAT!?!? She couldn’t hire any friends!!! She isn’t any good at tennis…. She played for 5 minutes without breaking a sweat…. a-ma-zing!! She has multiple wedgies and she only picked it once. Don’t smell your fingers!!!! It is totally [...]

This Just In: Mondays are More Depressing than We Thought

I cursed the day this morning. As soon as I heard the alarm, I heard the most horrible livid words come spewing out of my mouth. Me? The Saint. I know right? I am just as surprised as you. Mother fucking Monday ruining my day. Mondays make it hard for a me to smile. In [...]

Dear Word Press

Dear WordPress, Who do my friends gotta nail in order to get me Freshly Pressed, man? I followed all your rules about Tags, Categories. I am putting myself out there. Twitter is pimping me. I can’t be any more pimped!! The STD’s need to pus up and heal!!! I say, Word Press, start in alphabetical [...]

I Should Be In My 50′s

Seriously…. I should be 55 or something. Reason I say this is because I am starting to realize that I was born in the wrong era. First I must tell you I am the hugest fan of  The Mamas and The Papas. I know the entire back story on them, their names, everything. I love [...]

A Confession For This Musical Friday

I have a confession. I haven’t told this to anyone other than family. For awhile, I had a hard time accepting it  myself. Many of you (many many many many!) might be shocked, upset, concerned, angered, and even in disbelief.  I will completely understand if you become disgusted with me. I will understand if you [...]

Thursday Movie Review- Ummmm No I Haven’t Seen It

The Oscars are set to show on Feb 26th. I suddenly realized that I haven’t seen any of the movies except two. So here are my reviews on the movies I have not seen based on what I know. I know … weird. But I apparently do everything half-ass so lets continue the half-assing! The [...]

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