Happy Mother’s Day

Even though Mother’s Day isn’t until Sunday, I figure I give the word out today. Happy Mother’s Day. To every mother out there… I hope you have a joyous, relaxing day. I hope you are spoiled. Truth is our children make us special just as we make our mothers special. A mother isn’t born until [...]

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

This list was not created by… sadly… but I discovered it… so that means something right. HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.” Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.” [...]

I Just Got Tagged…. Grrrrrreeeaaaaaatttttttttt

  I was unexpectedly tagged. So I don’t know if I should run after someone or wait my impending death with a meat grinder.   I am like totally gay cause I like doing things like this. So let’s get this thing started so you can figure what the hell I am talking about. I [...]

Photo Bomb!!!

I am unsure if I am  hung over or still asleep. I don’t remember drinking or sleeping. So here is the best half-ass Monday blog I can give you. Hopefully, it will start the newest trend and people will post photo bombs everywhere. I know I want to do it… but maybe tomorrow.     [...]

Wanted: Seeking a Fan/Stalker/Crazy About Me

It’s come to my attention that because this  is my 27th year and I, for this year, am in the elite  club called the 27 club where  celebrities that are remarkable geniuses all died. When? When they were all 27 years old. Don’t believe me … read all about it here. So since my celebrity [...]

Thursday Movie Review-Not Regretting A Hour and Forty Minutes of My Life

It was suggested to me to see a movie called The Warrior’s Way. Yuan, an assassin and the world’s finest swordsman, kills an entire clan but when he also told he must kill the baby of the clan, he refuses. Knowing full well that he disobeyed the order, he packs up and leaves China to [...]

Shitting In Your Pants is Not An Option

Remember in the movie Zombieland how the main character “Columbus” had a set of rules when the Zombie apocalypse hit America? I do. Little did this little gem of a movie know that you don’t need a zombie apocalypse to put these rules into action. For instance, rule number 1 is cardio. How essential is [...]

New Year Resolutions With More Scars, Nudity, and Hopefully making friends at AA!!!

That was last year….and I totally rocked it out!! Like totally. Sadly I don’t have any tattoos or piercings or scars to commemorate this past year. Fuck I should have thought of that before Sunday!! I could have lit my self on fire or something. I did have a couple of close calls while making [...]

Winter; How I loathe you?!?

Yes! You know what I was doing at 6am in the mornin? Scraping damn ice off my Tahoe. I did it with a cigarette box I found on the floor. I mean who keeps cardboard around or anything for scrapping windows? Who?!?!? I was going to turn on my froster  but my door wouldn’t open. [...]

What the Hell Wednesday- Jesus Style!!

I love it (LOVE) when people claim to find or see images of Jesus or the Virgin Mary appear in places.  People have said the Virgin Mary has appeared on rock water.In reality, it was more of a water stain in a shape that looked like the Virgin Mary. Praise the Lord!!! People see what [...]