In the room where I sleep … my thoughts overflow.

Archive for the ‘Life at the House’ Category

The Art of Catching Some Zzzzz’s

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Being a mother is extremely demanding. Somehow you are the first one up and the last one to bed. You are always extremely tired and can be found falling asleep as you practice reading with your daughter. You anxiously await the anticipated bed time where you can snuggle in your sheets, lay your head on your puffed up pillow and fall gracefully to sleep the way princesses do in movies.

However is that really the case?

I can be falling asleep on the way home from work, on the couch, the dinning table, even as you move about assembling the essentials for the next day. However, as soon as I lay in bed, it gets COMPLICATED!!

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Ideally I want to lay on my back. If I position my pillows just right, both my shoulders properly proportioned equally on the pillow will make for a nice restful sleep. See, this is the type of Science they should be teaching in school. The physics of perfectly aligned shoulders.

But still, I can’t fall asleep. This is not the position I am used too! You see, we recently got my baby boy to stop sleeping with us. When he was a baby, we messed up by putting him in the bed with us all because we wanted an extra few hours of sleep during feedings and diaper changings.

SO SUE US!

Then he just grew super fast and pretty soon I was the one hanging off the edge. Everyone morning, my shoulders would ache because I was forced to sleep on my side all night!

So we moved him into his room. Then we felt guilty and I was cold. So there he went back into our bed. T-ball started for him. He then decided that he was a big boy and could not sleep with us. So there he went back to his bed in his room. I was sad. I missed him. But my shoulders didn’t. In one night I was cured and could never go back to the old way again.

But like all great things, the season ended as well as Ryan’s desire to be a big boy. We couldn’t get him to stay the night in his room. Finally, it donned on us to bring his bed into our room. So we did that… and we have our bed back. Hopefully, we will have our room back.

Sigh….

So I lay there fully enjoying the arms space I have. I now have the power to roll up in a little ball, spread out like an X and even sleep side ways. The possibilities are endless! But I just ache for comfort and want to fully enjoy the space laying on my back.

Still, it doesn’t feel comfortable. What do I do with these arms of mine? Do I cross them over my chest like Wednesday from The Adams Family?

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No that’s weird and uncomfortable. Imagine if I died like that… the medics will think I am  some kind of witch or satanic sleeper.

I finally give up and just roll on my right side like always. I curl my legs up practically in my body and relax. Hopefully, I will just know to change it up in the middle of the night.

Then I start to feel something uncomfortable.

My ankles are touching each other and it’s driving me CRAZY!! My knees are boney and rubbing against each other! If I spread my legs that feels foreign… uhhhhhhhhhh!!!

I just wanna sleep!! I finally just roll over on my stomach and hope the smothering of my face in the pillow will be enough to knock me unconscious!

What is that my feet are hitting?!?!

Ryan is now sleeping horizontally on the edge of our bed!!!!

I Now Understand and Hopefully So Will Allstate

Recently we moved to a bigger house so I can send the kids somewhere else for a while because we really needed more space. It’s really only 20 minutes away from our former house but it might as well be another country.

Before, we had all the necessities surrounded us in our nice suburban area. Now we are living in a rural area that is growing but barely. We live near the valley where there are ranches, farmland, and areas of desert.

Horizon  Now I am not a big girly girl when it comes to nature. I love to camp, I love to hike.  I find bugs or snakes and I don’t fret. I can stand my ground.  However, now that I am living in the outskirts of the city I have had to get used to wildlife a little more. I have had to screech to stop to avoid hitting quail, foxes, coyotes, rabbits.  I have seen field mice (or was it rats) running through my yard. I have seen the remains of knocked over trash cans. And I have seen spiders.

Spiders that are bigger than my palm spiders. At this point, I don’t think they should be called spiders anymore. They should be like desert crabs or something.  The horror. Those damn suckers are everywhere. I have no probably killing these “bird killers”.

Wait, I do have one condition. I must have clothes on. The only way I can not kill a bug is if I am naked. I know total mind fuck but its true. For some reason, I have this fear that bugs/spiders can’t hurt me as long as I have t-shirt and shorts. I almost wanna say I am more concerned about them jumping on bare skin and going into my vagina or something. I can be barefoot and still be fine. I just have to have clothes. So yes, in the shower, I am a total blonde chick in a horror film.

horrorHowever, lately I have had a hard time killing them. And yes I say kill. There is more of those bastards then there are of me so I am not going to release it in back in to the wild only for it to try to come back into my house.  The reason I am now freaking out about  spiders is because lately I have been finding what my husband calls are Wolf Spiders.

They are huge and brown and just god damn huge. I have yet to be bitten but I do know that it hurts like a mother. These god damn spiders aren’t like normal spiders spinning webs and trying to save pigs.

These fucking things climb, can swim, and hunt, well like a wolf.

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And I haven’t even told you the worst part.

So I found one in the middle of our living room where we sit on the  couches or sit on the floor to watch TV. I grab a house shoe and smash it really good and hard making a loud disgusting crunch. The spider died instantly smashed against the tile. But then a million babies crawl outta the spider and start fleeing in all directions.

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Never have I ever been more disgusted or horrified. I have never seen anything like that. Where I come from spiders don’t have tricks up their damn sleeves. These fucking spiders carry their kids on their back?!?!?!  So here I am trying to kill the reinforcements with my massive shoe against these microscopic devils and I am failing. They are moving fast and in all directions. I grab a house spray and I think I got a few of them but who knows where the hell the others went.

So now I totally the joke that people say about burning down your house once you encounter a spider. Well, I encountered hundreds.

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Venting Out

I was going to post a Thursday movie review but then I never got around to doing it. Then I decided not posting one at all.

But I realize I need to post. I need to post to get something off my chest.

I am bothered… by family.

Hurt actually.

I have three wonderful, beautiful bad ass sweet ass kids.  I love them. I’m their mother so I want everyone to love them. That’s natural. And when you meet someone that sees your kid the same as you do, well that makes you love that person. I also understand that my kids are my kids and no one will see them or feel about them the way I do.

But family should… right?

I am bothered by people who are in my kids’  lives that don’t really want to be. They do it because they have too. They do it because their spouse asks them too. They do it to be a good person but they don’t do it for the kids. There is a thin level that they refer to as love. But it’s not really love.

I feel bad because my kids don’t have a relationship like that. They aren’t loved like that. No one goes out of their way for them. No one has too but no one wants too.

It bothers me. It bothers me that my kids still love them because they don’t know better.  They are not sought out for a better relationship.

I just wanna say that I see right through you. I know why you are here but don’t wanna be. I see right through you. I see the fake actions. And I don’t want anything from you.

Scratch that I do. I don’t want you to hurt my kids.

Happy Birthday My Little Princess

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Today my little baby girl, Sienna O’ren Sanchez is 6.

At 5, you learned to tie your own shoe. You refused for me to make your lunch and just let me suggest and supervise what you put in your lunch box. You became grandpa’s nurse, grandma’s best match, the neutral and judge free person of the chaos of kids in the house.

You stand before bullies unafraid.  You aren’t afraid to state your opinion. You are daddy’s little girl but because you and I are so the same. You are strong physically and mentally. You are the only kid I know that can do 25 push-ups correctly. You are so helpful, so full of common sense that you wow me. You are a hard worker and extremely smart.

You smell like sweet bread all the time. The blankie we call Pillow that you carry around and sucking your thumb remind us that you are still very little, and give us glimpses that you are still out sweet baby girl. I love how you demand your naps, you are my movie buddy and your fierceness is something even I can envy.

I don’t know where you came from… well I know but what I am referring to is your spirit. You are only 6 but you have done, said and become so much. You are a born leader but you are kind sweet and extremely strong.

The truth is there will never be another girl like you. Never! You are so special and so rare. You are the love of my life. You are loved and cherished by your daddy, uncles, aunts, grandma, grandpas, friends, brothers, sister and so much by me. I met you first! Don’t forget!

I love you princess. Don’t change!  Keep marching to the beat of your own drum.

I love always and forever. For as long as I am living my baby you will be!

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Mama Did A Bad Bad Thing

Overall, my Christmas and New Years was good. My department at my company shuts down forcing us to take the two weeks. They never have to twist my arm about it.

The only thing that was really bad this holiday season was all the sickness. A few days before Christmas I got a cold and my daughter did as well. My cold lasted all the way til Christmas. During those days each one of my children got fever, sore throats, the works. Then once everyone got it, my kids got the stomach flu a few days before New Years. One by one, family members were dropping like flies.  In fact, my hubby was basically unconscious for two days. He got the combo: flu and stomach flu.  I was the only one who didn’t get the stomach flu. According to the hubs, I did.

I started to feel sick Thursday evening. I immediately was worried cause I am wuss when it comes to throwing up or anything stomach related.  I was feeling so queasy I retired early to bed. Sometime in the middle night I up-chucked! It was horrible. It always is. My hubs comforted me  afterwards that it was just the stomach flu.

However, as soon as I threw up I immediately felt better. Like instantly. I didn’t feel horrible or dizzy or any of the other symptoms my husband was assuring would soon follow.

So what did I do?

I milked it…. yep, the entire day. I slept the entire day. My hubby was so nice, and comforting bringing me whatever I asked for.  Every time he would come in I would act groggy which I was from sleeping all day.  He even made dinner.

I have always wanted to sleep all day. I miss sleep. Sleep has become the holy grail for me.  And obviously, I needed it cause I slept the entire day. And when I got bored because people stopped checking on me or paying attention to me, I limped downstairs and ate dinner like at 6pm.

Do I feel bad?

Not really….. I mean. I did throw up. Thats pretty hardcore. It shakes you to your very core.

Hmm, why am I feeling judgment from you all. Do I have to quote Ferris Bueller??? I basically am Ferris Bueller… just the mommy/wife version. Where is that movie??

Wait…. it would just be a movie about someone sleeping huh?

The Essentials for Christmas/Zombie Apocalypse

Last night a discussion with my hubby reconfirmed my decision that I married the right guy.

We were talking about how nice the three wood shutters we have installed on some of the windows were and how they were really fancy. I expressed how much I loved them. Gus expressed that we should do all the windows but that it would probably be really expensive.

I frowned because I hate expensive things.

Gus cheered me up by saying, ” Well they would be really useful in securing the windows if there was a zombie apocalypse.”

That is how he normally gets me. He tells me he bought something and then adds in case there is a zombie apocalypse and I sigh a wave of relief.  I willingly admit it works on me every time because you never know. Crazier shit has happened! Okay, well that is not entirely true.
Nothing has happened that is crazier than zombies… at least not in my town.

Anyways, I have come to reason that not everything at our local Wal-Mart is we would need to survive a zombie apocalypse.

Here is a list I have put together with everything I would need:

1)  The Walking Dead Series

Never have I seen a more accurate portrayal of what would happen to the world if there really was a zombie apocalypse.  I will just remember, shoot anyone with the name of Carl.

2)M48 Apocalypse Tactical Tomahawk series

With a wide, up swept axe blade, the ATT has a massive slash for decapitating walkers. The secondary edge on the back of the head is specially sharpened on both edges for a hook attack guaranteed to puncture the spicy brains of any zombie. Lightweight enough to carry all day, toting the ATT won’t tire out before you get back to the safety of your camp.

Me likey!!!

3)  Bacon green beans

When I was doing zombie research, this kept coming up as an essential. I think the internet is trying to tell me something.  Plus this looks really good!

4) Dead On Annihilator Superhammer

  • Fourteen inches of forged steel multitool with rubber grip (forged steel!! *Tool man groan*)
  • Built-in:
    • Dead-On bottle-opener
    • Multi-purpose wrench
    • Nail puller
    • Demolition axe rips through dry wall, shingles, strips conduit, beheads zombies *
    • Chisel smashes through tile, brick, concrete, skulls *

    Need I say more! How is this  not issued to us once we are born? And… it will definitely fit in my purse!

    5) Plush Zombie Slippers

    Nothing shows more that your game face is on when you are sporting these babies!

    So if you are at a stand still on what to get me for Christmas, any of these will suffice. And you should probably think about adding some of this to your own collection.

    You’re Welcome!

My Life in 300 Words or Less

This is not going to about the election, who to vote for, or who I am voting for or whatever.

I know how I feel and that’s all I care about.

Plus it gets annoying.  Annoying is the people who swear the world is going to end if Obama wins. Shut the fuck up people. Tomorrow the sun will rise as it will the next day, the next day, and the next day.
And it doesn’t even matter you guys, the world is gonna end on December 21st anyway. Vote Mayan!!!

So back to what I originally was gonna post … I darn near forgot!

So here are something I have been thinking about in bullet point form. Feel free to discuss our organized and professional I am amongst yourselves.

  • It sucks to not have TV!! We have to wait a whole week for them to come out and align us with the sun or something like that. So I am depressed. I am missing my shows, football, my kids watching their cartoons and following me around asking for everything!  DIRECTV you have failed me!!!
  • Stop talking about the Walking Dead… I missed it!! God damn you Americans!!!
  • I may have to start clipping coupons. I need to save money. That or get a second job. Is anyone hiring?
  • Greatest singer ever: R Kelly. That guy can sing about anything. Sex, love, closets. Food for thought people.
  • Speaking of food…. I wish I had tamales.
  • I won tickets on my local and favorite radio show to go see Eddie Vedder!!! Yep Eddie Vedder… the singer of Pearl Jam. However, there is no Pearl Jam band anymore. It’s just Eddie Vedder with a ukulele. Hmmmm, unsure about this.

 

So there you have it. My life in 300 words or less.

This Just In:Moving Sucks

So for the past week I have been moving. I have never been more tired in life. Except after child-birth… and all those times I woke up every two hours to feed my baby… and all those times I just was like fuck sleep because I was too paranoid watching my baby sleep making sure they were breathing… and every day after that.

So no, I have been this tired. I take that back.

I have come to reason that I hate moving… hate it!

If you have never moved, then don’t. Ever!

They need to invent this machine that can carefully pick up your house and put it in different areas that you need it too.  I know that’s what you do with mobile homes… but fuck that I am talking about a house!!

Where is that invention??

I get that Apple has to make a new iPhone, a better iPad, a smaller iMac every year. I totally get it being an Apple fan myself. However, I think it would  suit us all well if they took a year break and worked on figuring out teleportation or beaming up houses and moving them to where ever you dial in.

That way, I am trying my hardest not kill people or family members.

I also think a whole year will be enough time for me to catch up to where ever Apple is at with the iPhones iPads and iMacs.

So Apple… more of this:

And less of this:

More of this:

And less of this:

More of this:

And less of this:

I am sure you get what I am going with this.

Happy Birthday to My Daughter: You are the reason I am a mother

Dear Savannah,

 

Today is your birthday.

Today 7 years ago, you made me a mommy. I remember how little your were when they placed you on the chest. The very first thing I noticed was how red and full your baby lips were. As I studied your little body, every baby body part was pink.

It reminded me of how Homer from The Odyssey described the  sunrise and little pink baby fingers that crept over the horizon.

It was at that moment  I felt I was asleep for all the previous years and was finally awake.
It wasn’t until that very moment that I realized I was a mother, thanks to you.

So in reality you have given me the very best gift possible.

I feel as it was just yesterday that I was hauling your car seat around. I remember going to stores and looking at your face and seeing you smile at me filled me with love.

I remember thinking at the very moment you are my very best friend. I couldn’t wait for you to walk. I couldn’t wait to hold your hand and lead you places.

And now you are in second grade. You now are leading me. You want to join cheerleading. You want to be famous singer/actress and a principal. You have the most admirable love for animals.  Seeing you cry at movies moves me because its so clear that you wear your heart on your sleeve much like your mother. And as a big sister, your sister and brother look up to you like they should.

I love you, I love Sienna and I love Ryan all equally but differently. You guys are my babies!!  However you, Savannah, are the moment that started it all for me.

I realize too that I am hard you at times. Just know that I love you and that I know you better than you know yourself. How?

Because I was you, and I felt the way you did about things and the way you talk about things reminds me of me. I want the very best for you. I want to push you to be the very best you. I want you to succeed and be happy. In the end it’s not about being famous; you are already famous to me and Daddy! You are more than we could ever ask for!!

“To the world
You may be just another girl
But to me
Baby, you are the world”

I love you NaNa!!

Happy Birthday!!

Liar Liar Pants on Fire!! Wait no don’t cry…your pants really aren’t on fire!

So I have this kid …

named Sienna. She is our baby girl.

She just started school this year three weeks ago and she is still not used to it.

She didn’t cry her first day until the afternoon. Then she cried every day after that until Friday when she had a good day.

Last week Monday, she cried a little going into the building. Then for the most part, she was fine.

Yesterday she cried in the morning and also this morning.

Last night, she told me there was a boy bothering her. A little boy in her class was being very mean to her calling her “a poopy head and a liar” but she doesn’t lie in school.

Her words.

Well we thought … this must be the reason she is not wanting to go to school.

The thing is Sienna loves school. She loves having work. She loves her teachers and her little friends so we couldn’t understand if it was so great, why was she resistant?

We talked and talked with her last night and a part of this morning about telling the teacher and what she could tell this boy.

And the more I thought of it the more I got upset. Truthfully, I didn’t believe her. Or I was more skeptic. However I was giving her the benefit of the doubt.

So this morning as we got ready, I told her how mad I was that a boy was being so mean to her. In fact, I was so mad I was going to talk to her teacher when I got there.

When I told her this, she responded that she could take “handle it” on her own.

You’re five! You are crying cause someone call your a poopy head and you wanna handle it?

I asked her the boy’s name. She didn’t know. Hmmmm… well maybe she hadn’t learned everyone’s name yet. Then she remarked that he wasn’t going to be in class today because he had a party to go too.

How suspicious!

Finally after a bit probing, she revealed there was no boy who was teasing her.

She lied.

I think she figured that was a good excuse to keep her at home.

As I write this I realize that I need to tell her the story of the little girl who cried wolf.

I felt bad telling her this but I knelt down beside her and told her this in the most loving yet firm way I could,

“You are going to school no matter what.”

I’m at a loss with this child. I can’t figure out why she is crying still. Especially after she says she loves school.
I guess the best thing is just to give her some time.

I did tell her that she should never lie.

You know …”Liar Liar pants on fire, hanging by the telephone wire.”

Then she started crying….

Her pants were not on fire I swear Child Protective Services.

It was a metaphor!!!

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